A Closer Look at David: Phenotypes

So, earlier this morning I had an interesting conversation with a friend who constantly misspells my name as "Kristin"...with an I! I know what you're thinking: if he spells your name wrong all the time, is he really a friend? Fair point. I will take this under consideration. Anyway, our conversation went like this:
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Tiernan: you will always be Swedish Kristin to me

Me: Swedish?

Tiernan: yes, that's the Swedish spelling: Kristin

Me: I think the world is FULL of black Swedes, we just never knew

Tiernan: well, perhaps you are a mix

Me: of black and black

Then we fell into a discussion of phenotypes. Why? Because Tiernan is just that kind of guy. He takes nearly every convo to a really scientific place. I'm not scientific at all. But I enjoyed the conversation because it made me think:

Genotype vs. Phenotype

Technically, an organism’s genotype is the set of genes that it carries (even those that don't appear). An organism’s phenotype is all of its observable characteristics. In short, the genotype is everything that you are. And the phenotype is only what I can see about you. In the above exchange, I showed my preference to be identified based on my phenotype. Most people do. It's easy, it cuts down on confusion.

It's "judge a book by its cover" when we all know to never judge a book by its cover.

And it made me think of David.

The life and times of David, shepherd-boy-turned King, is amazing reading. But it's also incredibly confusing.

I read through the books of Samuel, and through Kings, and through Chronicles, and at the end of it, I'm like: David sucked. I judged that dude very quickly based on his obvious sins and failures. And yet, God says that David is a man after His own Heart. And I'm like "WHAT?!!" After the heart of who?! God?! NO WAY!

 It gets to me, because I'm looking at things that people look at. I'm looking at his "phenotype". God doesn't look at what I'm looking at. God's looking at the "genotype".

"...The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” 

1 Samuel 16:7

But what's really wrong with David's phenotype? I look at him and on some level I know: He's just like me. He's messed up! He is so vile sometimes! And I identify with that. But then, he's a man after God's own heart, and I don't identify with that! It's extremely frustrating!

It's frustrating to think: I have to be more like David. 

I believe that we have a spiritual genotype, and our outward appearance is catching up to it. David had a heart for God, and his outward appearance and behavior was catching up to it. I feel like the ugly duckling, who's going to shock you with my beauty when I reach spiritual adulthood.

Beloved, now we are children of God, and it has not appeared as yet what we will be. We know that when He appears, we will be like Him, because we will see Him just as He is.

1 John 3:2

Don't judge me based on my phenotype!

Eat Rocks!

The consumption of rocks is usually limited to children (before they realize that rock-eating is a problem), dogs, and people with a rock-eating disorder (i.e. Pica). Rock eating is a serious problem. The reasons why it's an issue, in one's opinion, will vary from person to person. For me, the main problem is:

This will break my teeth.

I'm not sure if I shared before, but I really love my teeth. I used to have a mental problem: over-brushing, over-flossing, over-gargling. I was one of those people who smiled at themselves in the mirror ALL the time. I know what you're thinking: vanity. But it wasn't full-out vanity. It was tooth vanity. Everything else I wanted changed in some way, but not my teeth. Those, I loved.

But medically, the main problem with eating rocks is that rocks have absolutely no nutritive value. You can eat all the rocks you want, and still, technically, starve to death.

I say all this to ask: what do you eat when you're hungry?

I have just transitioned into Bible mode (FYI).

Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil.  After fasting forty days and forty nights, he was hungry. The tempter came to him and said, “If you are the Son of God, tell these stones to become bread.”

Matthew 4:1-3

I'm about to take some major license, but this scripture got to me today, because: 

Jesus was legitimately hungry. He'd gone 40 days without the thing that satisfies hunger (food), 

He has the power to change his circumstance, He can turn stones into bread...but that doesn't change the fact that it used to be stones

When Jesus is finished with His fast. When He is finished preparing Himself for His public ministry...he can eat food that is and was always FOOD. He doesn't have to do anything to make food out of what was previously inedible. Temptation says: you're hungry, make it happen. But a godly mind says: I can wait. 

I've found that I don't always wait. I feel like I lived a large part of my life, pretending that I have the same powers that Jesus refused to use. I'm out here trying to turn rocks into bread. But...they are still rocks. 

I want something to satisfy all the hunger in my life, and I'm eating all these rocks: 

1. My job
2. My family/friends
3. Boys
4. Television
5. Fancy vacations
6. Anything I can spend my money on (you like that catch-all)

And I'm hoping that it has nutritive value. And it doesn't! And even if it does. Even if I turn up some bread one day, I can't live on bread alone!  Why? Cuz Jesus said so:

Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.

Matthew 4:4

Oh geez! I fell for it. For the first temptation. Hungry? Eat rocks. 

Thankfully, God knows what's up with hungry (ok...thirsty) people (same/same): 

Come, all you who are thirsty, come to the waters; and you who have no money, come, buy and eat! Come, buy wine and milk without money and without cost.Why spend money on what is not bread, and your labor on what does not satisfy? Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good, and you will delight in the richest of fare. Give ear and come to me; listen, that you may live. 

Isaiah 55:1-3

Food for thought.*

*pun intended

The Biggest Loser: Friend Edition

 
So recently, I entered into a Biggest Loser type contest with June. The goal: first one to lose 13 lbs wins. Wins what? $200 worth of clothing and/or accessories. Hefty bet, huh? Well, I just lost. Sort of. Once a person reaches their goal weight, they have to maintain it for 30 days. I'm not even at the goal, and the clock is ticking on me! Grrr. I was close to the goal, at a point when she was far away...and now I'm kinda far away when she's there.

How did this happen?

Life is full of excuses. And I'm not usually one to seriously hide behind them. But let's play devil's advocate.  I repeat: How did this happen?

1. I had surgery and could not under doctor's orders do any strenuous activity for 8 to 10 days. Meanwhile, June was twisting her little Asian body around at Yoga/Strogra/Bikram, blah, blah, blah. No exercise for me = weight gain.
2. My birthday came around: 30! After that, I was in a small depression. As June is well older, she had already gone through these blues and was unaffected. Depression = food = weight gain.
3. As a result of #2, I turned to drugs...ok that's a lie (that probably would've made me lose weight anyway...)

At the point where I resort to joking falsehood, I know the gig is up. I'm out of excuses. At the end of the day, the whole truth is: I'm flat out lazy. And I was lazy up until the moment I realized June was close to reaching her goal. Suddenly, it was urgent. Suddenly, it was crash diet time. Suddenly, I was frantic to do what I should have been doing all along in order to get that $200 outfit. 

So what?

It made me think of the parable of the ten virgins (Read Matthew 25:1-13). Five were wise and had oil for their lamps. Five were foolish and had NO oil whatsoever. When it was lamp lighting time 50% of that group of otherwise cool peeps were out of luck. That parable is a serious cautionary tale about the ineffectiveness of last minute preparation. I'm not going to go through the parable (though I may in another blog), but rather on why that parable had to be told. It was in response to a question:

“Tell us,” they said, “when will this happen, and what will be the sign of your coming and of the end of the age?” - Matthew 24:3

Man oh man, I wish I had that insight: when will June reach her goal? If I knew the answer to that...I would've won! Why? Because I would have worked it out perfectly, in order to have lost 13 lbs at the point when she had only lost 12. I would have been literally one step ahead of her. Why? Because that's how lazy people think. 

We live in a world full of spiritually lazy people. People who only want to get right with God one second before it is required of them, in order to gain the prize. However, that only works when you know the timing. This is why God is not mocked (Galatians 6:7). He knows that's how we think, and so He warned us: 

“Therefore keep watch, because you do not know on what day your Lord will come. But understand this: If the owner of the house had known at what time of night the thief was coming, he would have kept watch and would not have let his house be broken into. So you also must be ready, because the Son of Man will come at an hour when you do not expect him. - Matthew 24:42-44. 

Since we can't know the timing of the Lord's coming...NOW is our only recourse. Isn't that troubling? Or convicting? We waste so much of now, thinking there is a later...but there may not be.

Korean Dramas: Hallyu or Hallelujah?

 On August 7, 2012 evil June told me to watch a show called City Hunter.

Me: What's that?!
June: It's a Korean drama
Me: With subtitles and stuff?! Nah...
June: Yes, but I hear they're really good!
Me: I'll watch the first 3 episodes of City Hunter if you watch the first 3 episodes of Downton Abbey
June: Deal

At the time, Downton Abbey was my latest obsession. I'd watched the first 2 seasons in a whirlwind, and wanted to share its greatness with June. But...you can't get her to do anything without striking a deal of some sort (this is indicative of some unhealthy flaw in our friendship, but I digress). In any case, it was the beginning of an addiction.

Korean dramas are typically between 16 and 25 episodes, with each episode approximately an hour long. From August 7 to September 21, I've watched the following:

Boys Over Flowers

1. City Hunter
2. Boys Over Flowers
3. Stars Falling from the Sky
4. IRIS
5. Secret Garden
6. King 2 Hearts
7. Rooftop Prince

So in 40+ days I've spent over 140 hours watching subtitled television exported from South Korea. And loved it! It was like crack to my inner tv junkie. I'm yelling at the TV, shaking my little fist at it; I'm laughing, I'm crying, and I'm telling every person who will hear me about how GREAT Korean dramas are. I find myself saying things like: "The King and Kim Hang Ah's love is real"! I'm like on fire for Korean dramas.

King 2 Hearts

Huh? I'm on fire for Korean drama, the way Christians should be on fire for Christ. The way I consume episodes, is the way I should consume Bible verses. The way I tell everyone they should watch them, is the way I should tell everyone to accept Christ. But wait, why am I down on myself?  I've written 133 blogs, and 90% of them are about the Christian experience. So what then is making me feel weird?

I was crazily off-balance. 
 

Why spend money on what is not bread, and your labor on what does not satisfy?... Isaiah 55:2 

Why that scripture? Well, I was feeding myself with what wasn't food, and filling myself up with what didn't satisfy. The more I tried to satisfy my mind and my heart with romcoms and melodramas, the more traumatically unsatisfied I became.

140 hours given to Hallyu; less than 140 hours given to "Hallelujah" in my quiet time, and in the church service, and in studying for my blog writing. I can't live on Hallyu, but I actually can live (eternally) on Hallelujah:

Jesus answered, "It is written: 'Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.'" Matthew 4:4

The thing that gives me life: The Word of God...woefully neglected, for like 40+ days.

I spent more time thinking on the good-lookingness of Lee Min Ho* than I did on the goodness of Jesus! Ah!!

So, I had to re-center, re-focus...because it was kind of killing me. I had become so depressed...and it took me a while to realize why. So I had to get back into quiet time. Get back into blogging. Get back into serving. And I already feel better. It can be turned around in a moment!

So is K-drama out of my life? No, no, no. NO. It's just going to be a much smaller part. Goodbye hours upon hours of parroting "kamsamnida" and "Fighting!" back to my screen. It's been real.

I actually might sneak in a "Best of K-drama" blog now and then...but my opinion means little given that there are literally 1000s of these dramas and I've seen 7. That being said:

ROOFTOP PRINCE IS THE BEST! Watch it...right after you read Romans 8!!

What do we allow to steal our focus?


*I got so distracted looking at photos of him. Gotta take every thought captive! LOL

I'm Disobedient

This weekend I realized: I'm disobedient.

For the first time in over 3 years, I went to Cedar Point, "The Best Amusement Park in the World". While there, I rode one of my favorite rides: Top Thrill Dragster.

Upon entering the line, I am met with this sign:

Then when you get into the car, this is what you see on the back of every seat:

And then, when you're at the start line you see this:

On top of all that, an announcer is using every opportunity to enumerate these simple rules. So, one has to believe that if you hear and see the rules this many times...they mean it.

But, on roller coasters, I LOVE to have my hands up. I can hear. I can read. But still, I disobeyed. I put my hands up, and then TTD took a turn, or twisted, or did something at "break neck" speeds, and my arms were up so I wasn't braced, and my upper body was just slammed down. Ribs bruised. It was the cost of my disobedience.

The big question is: why did I do it? To enhance the experience.

Being shot up 420 feet at 120mph is simply not enough. Clearly, I have to do something to enhance my experience. The something that I do is disobedience. And it actually took away from my experience. What I didn't realize, but I do now, is that the ride is built for my enjoyment and the safety parameters are set to ensure that I receive optimal enjoyment of the ride.


It's the same thing in your walk with Christ. We're living life with our hands up, trying to enhance the experience. We read about "it" in our quiet time, we get held accountable about "it" in our small group, and we hear "it" preached as if it was meant just for us on Sunday mornings at service, and yet...we do our own thing, because we want our life set on optimal enjoyment. I call it "it" because there is variation among us. Everyone has their own life optimization plan that is somewhat outside of the parameters. Whether you're adding sexual immorality to your life optimization plan, if the love of money/power is part of your optimization plan, or if you just have a mentally-satisfying-but-totally-inappropriate thought life that is part of your optimization plan...believe it's taking away from your experience.

Why/How? Because the ride is built for your enjoyment and the safety parameters are set to ensure that you receive optimal enjoyment of the ride:

"... I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." John 10:10

Why would Jesus come to give you a full life, if it's really not a full life? This is of course rhetorical. Your life is not full, because you seek to fill it yourself. We're not looking for fulfillment in Christ, because we don't always believe that total fulfillment can be found there. And so while we're busy trying to enhance the experience with disobedience, we find ourselves less and less fulfilled, sometimes even hurt. Ribs bruised. The cost of disobedience. 

“Blessed rather are those who hear the word of God and obey it.” Luke 11:28

Obedience leads to happy contentment. Why do we think other roads lead there? Food for thought.

The Law of Give and Take

...Or maybe I just love really "put together" people. I had a moment of conviction a few days ago while reading my small group book The Reason for God by Timothy Keller. In general, it's not my favorite book, but occasionally this guy has some legit nuggets of wisdom:

In the real world of relationships it is impossible to love people with a problem or a need without in some sense sharing or even changing places with them. All real life-changing love involves some form of this kind of exchange. It requires very little of you to love a person who is pulled together and happy. Think, however, of emotionally wounded people. There is no way to listen and love people like that and stay completely emotionally intact yourself. - Timothy Keller*

I used to think that "sacrificial love" meant loving people in spite of their crap. Turning the other cheek. Loving people when it hurt your pride to do so. And it totally does! But, the aforementioned quote got me thinking about this:

Giving of yourself vs. Giving up yourself

And this is why I love the bible. I can quote a verse forever, and not realize that I didn't get it. Isn't that crazy? I was writing last year about Lenten sacrifice, and didn't really get the give and take of sacrificial giving.  I often think of sacrifice as a choice. And sometimes it is. We'll give something up for something that we think has greater benefit. But in the quote, sacrifice is a result.

In order for something to be given...something else has to be taken.

And therein lies the rub! I don't want to lose anything as a result of loving people. The only way to ensure this is to either 1) love people only up to a certain point, or 2) only love people who are really put together.

But what happens when that "put together" person falls apart? ...That's why they say in hard times, you "find out who your friends are". The people who stick around, the people who hold your hand, the people who hug you and let you cry it out...they are being your strength because all of yours has run out. And they are doing this at a cost. When you give your strength to someone who has none...strength is leaving you. For real.



How do I know?

The woman with the issue of blood.

When she heard about Jesus, she came up behind him in the crowd and touched his cloak, because she thought, “If I just touch his clothes, I will be healed.” Immediately her bleeding stopped and she felt in her body that she was freed from her suffering. At once Jesus realized that power had gone out from him. He turned around in the crowd and asked, “Who touched my clothes?” 

 Mark 5: 27 - 30

The faith aspect of this is AH-MAZING, and I'll possibly cover it some other time; but the clincher here is that when she touched Jesus, she took power; she took the healing that she needed from Jesus.

So how can I prevent something, that even Jesus couldn't prevent? And even beyond that, how can I live life attempting to circumvent the true nature of love, as laid out by God? What do I mean by that? I'm saying that love results in sacrifice, just like Tim Keller said.

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

John 3:16

God loved so much that he gave. Love results in sacrifice. If I love you...I am sacrificed. If I love God...I am sacrificed.

MAN that sucks! It sucks because I want love to be EASY. But there is no easy love. There is no cheap grace.

 Is this what it means when the pastor says to "pour yourself out" for others? Oh. No.

*Keller, Timothy (2008-02-14). The Reason for God (p. 191). Penguin Group. Kindle Edition.

Jesus is a Dentist: Anxiety

Me: Jesus...I was just thinking, you're kind of like a dentist.
Jesus (gasping): What?! This is blasphemy!
Me (shocked): Lord, I'm so sorry, but why?!
Jesus: I'm a real doctor





So this blog is a continuation of my previous I Hate the Dentist post, where I outlined that coming to Christ is like going to the dentist in three major ways:

• The Anxiety
• The Invasive Nature of the Process
• The Cost

Going into more detail on just...

ANXIETY
Anxiety is a word easily described as "fear." But I like looking at the opposite words: certainty, serenity, and tranquility. Anxiety is the absence of those things, and when you feel that way about the dentist or God it will prevent you from approaching Him. You never know what's going to happen in the dentist's/"dentist's" office. Our uncertainty often comes from two places:

1. Who we are? Dentist - Have I exercised awesome home care? God - Have I already gotten too far away from Him with my lifestyle. In short: Am I already too far gone.
2. Who He is? Dentist - Is he a mean dentist? An honest dentist? What's he gonna do to me?! God - Is He really as loving as they say? Does He really forgive all sin? What's He gonna do to me?!

I can't speak for the dentist, but the anxiety that we feel towards God is misplaced. Jesus longs to be with you. Jesus hit the scene for many reasons, but I'm gonna to give you three anxiety-killing reasons why you should feel certain about Christ:

First, Jesus finds and hangs out with people that other folks have written off: 

Now all the tax collectors and the sinners were coming near Him to listen to Him. Both the Pharisees and the scribes began to grumble, saying, “This man receives sinners and eats with them.” 

Luke 15: 1- 2

 

That's right. Jesus will make Himself available to people that most other people hate on principle (i.e. anyone with the word "tax" in their job title), as well as legitimately terrible sinners. He wasn't worried about what they had done, or who they had been, or who's legs they had broken to collect a debt. He was there, with that particular group,because...

 

Second, Jesus rescues folks: 

...the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many. Matthew 20:28

Ransom? Ransom is the paid redemption of a prisoner, slave, or kidnapped person. He gave his life to rescue mankind from the clutches of sin and death. We were rescued! Sometimes you don't know where you stand in a relationship, but Christ considers you to be a friend (John 15:13).

Third, Jesus wants to be cool with you:

Behold, I stand at the door and knock; if anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and will dine with him, and he with Me. 

Revelation 3:20

Jesus makes an open invitation for fellowship...He wants to come over for dinner!  The Last Supper was not the "last" supper.  He's looking for relationship.With us.

Now for some theft. I have a friend who wrote something in an e-mail chain that was so profound, it almost put tears in my eyes. And I had to use it...and give him credit. 

"It is God constantly seeking to use His power base to bend the rules or create a means of having the garden back. You think that we are the only ones that miss the garden? The innocence of man? The evening strolls? The late day conversations? The joy of sending all of creation before Adam just to see what man would call them? The scripture says all of creation groans, awaiting a day of return to the garden. (Romans 8:19) Don’t you think God also longs for those moments again? This is what David knew, that God’s emotional, perfect Will was driving everything to restore a relationship lost." 

- Justin Lamar

Anxious? Don't be.