Walking with God

I'm on staycation this week. I felt that I needed to take some time to revive my spirits which were weakened during the busy work season. Thought I'd have lunch with friends, clean my house, catch up on kdrama, get in a few good runs, go to yoga everyday...and that everything would be great.


It has sucked majorly. And today, I was feeling particularly wretched, and thought "I should pray" but instead I went for a run, thinking a good run would make me feel better. Clearly, I thought: run > prayer.

So God smote me.

Okay, okay. I don't know if God smote me for sure, but that definitely felt like what was happening. I was about 2.7 miles out when my legs were cramping, my stomach was cramping, and I had insane nausea. By far, the worst run ever. I saw other people in the park playing (of all things) lacrosse, and I thought: if I pretend to pass out right here, will they save me? I was contemplating all manner of rescues when I just crouched down on the side of the road and started doing what I should have done before I even left the house: praying. Praying that I make it home. Praying that the pain subsides. And it did. I made it home. And as soon as I got into the house: prayer.

But the real lesson was in the choice I'd made. And how I've made that choice a lot recently.  I'll think that there is something that will be more rewarding than relationship with God. Why do I say that? Because prayer is relationship with God and prayer has been difficult lately. If something is going wrong in my life, I'm on gchat or I'm on the phone talking to someone who I think needs to hear my cry, asking them to pray for me. Maybe God will hear them because I can't get a prayer through. If I get depressed I start thinking about what I need to busy myself with; I start thinking about where I should go, and what I should do...when my first stop should be on my knees. But my prayers had become so painful, that I avoided it, because I was starting to doubt the benefit in it.

But not Enoch.

By faith Enoch was taken up so that he would not see death; and he was not found because God took him up; for he obtained the witness that before his being taken up he was pleasing to God. And without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is and that He is a rewarder of those who seek Him. - Hebrews 11:5-6

Sometimes I don't believe in the benefit of seeking God. Which means sometimes something is WRONG with my faith. Which means sometimes I'm displeasing. I'm sometimey.

Enoch lived sixty-five years, and became the father of Methuselah. Then Enoch walked with God three hundred years after he became the father of Methuselah, and he had other sons and daughters.  So all the days of Enoch were three hundred and sixty-five years. Enoch walked with God; and he was not, for God took him.  Genesis 5:21-24

This is all I have on Enoch. This! It's almost nothing. So little that I thought to skip Enoch. But it's just enough for me see Enoch got to a point where he was constant. Where his faith in the Lord was unwavering. The scripture says "then", which I take to mean that for 65 years, Enoch was like me. He was sometimey. But "Then Enoch walked with God 300 years." Three hundred years he faithfully walked with God. You've gone on walks with people before. Same pace. Same direction. If you stop to tie your shoes, the other person waits. It is relationship in motion. Enoch was in step with God. He didn't walk away, he didn't seek other sources of "fix it" because he believed that God is a rewarder. He understood the benefit of walking with God as opposed to walking alone, or walking with someone else. 300 years...no relapse. And I'm not saying he didn't do anything wrong. I can't know that (I only have 3 sentences). I'm saying that he had 300 years of unbroken faith. 

Actively believing and trusting God is so huge. Enoch did it and got something that wasn't even yet promised. Enoch never died. In Genesis! At the beginning of the book we find the precursors to the end:

"...and everyone who lives and believes in Me will never die. Do you believe this?” John 11:26

I might not know anything about Enoch, but I know this: He believed in things that Jesus implores his disciples to believe in. And in so doing...he was pleasing. This would be debilitating for me, because my first thought is: my faith is raggedy. But God gives each man a measure of faith (Romans 12:3) and scripture says we go from "faith to faith" (Romans 1:17). I like to think of it like levels and stages in a video game, where I fall off the cliff and it makes that little tragic sound. But then I play again and I jump over that cliff and keep going. Faith Level 1. Then I get eaten by a plant. LOL. But for real, then I kill that plant, and I keep going. Level 2. And I keep going.

And boom, 300 years have passed.