Lent: 2014

this actually looks fun!

Remember when your parents or an older sibling would say: "If all your friends jumped off a bridge, would you do it too?!" in order to shame you for being a follower?  Why was it always jumping off of a bridge, or something that was seemingly harmful? No parent ever says: "If all your friends went to college, would you go too?!" because...that's probably a decent idea. I have the same feeling about Lent. Today, all over the world, in many different languages people are being asked the same question:

"Are you giving something up for Lent?"

And you'll either (1) feel guilty that you weren't going to give something up and give up donuts posthaste; (2) feel nothing, you're not Catholic and you didn't grow up with Lent; or (3) feel validation and relief because the person who asked you isn't giving up anything either.

But if you've decided you're giving something up, then there's all this judgment about what you gave up. Like is that a "valid" sacrifice?  There are arguments about whether or not Sunday is a "cheat" day... There are even websites that guide you in picking your Lenten sacrifice (so you don't mess it up).

I've written about Lent before because I'm not Catholic and didn't grow up with it. So three years ago I gave in to the pressure and gave up something for Lent. I thought it was super spiritual and meaningful, nothing like ice cream or chocolate. So, since I'd done it before, I thought: maybe today I'll do it again.

so so good

But why? That's where Lent gets me every time! I have to know what I'm doing and why I'm doing it. I just can't give up Friday meat willy nilly! Nor can I decide that the Sea Salt Caramel gelato in my freezer is on hold for 40 days without just cause.  Since I'm not Catholic, I've always struggled with the point of Lent. My last Lent blog likened Lent to a "spiritual New Year's Eve," except instead of doing better by myself, I'd do better by God. Today, I started thinking of  Lent as a way to be closer to God; closer to His likeness/character/nature. Said another way, I previously thought of Lent as an opportunity to reconnect with Christ, when it is probably more a call to be an imitator of Christ.

Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children; and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you and gave Himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma. - Ephesians 5:1-2

I love this scripture, because I want to be like a little kid, wearing my mom's heels. Trying on her church hats. Imitating the way she does things. I like to think of myself imitating God that way. So I start having all these warm/fuzzy imitator-of-God-for-Lent thoughts. However, when I see "therefore" at the beginning of a chapter, I know I have to go back:

Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you. - Ephesians 4:31-32

Argh! That hard stuff! I guess I'll spend 40 days working on that...

...or not. I mean, that's really good. Sounds amazing (and I am going to pray towards that end and be more mindful of my thinking). However, I realized that I was trying to create my own little doctrine for Lent. Trying to put all these sentimental and biblical rules and parameters around it, in order to make it mean something for me.  In an exasperated moment,  I asked a Catholic what she liked about Ash Wednesday service:

"I like the ritual of it; of taking a moment to remind myself that this life is fleeting. Everything you see before you will crumble."
 ...

So simple. And that's when I thought: I'm taking this way too far. Jesus spent 40 days preparing Himself for 3 years of crazy. It was His time of self-reflection and worship to prepare Him for His life, His struggle. And he came out of the 40 days victorious over temptation. And He came out of the 3 years victorious over sin and death.

So, I guess I just want to come out of Lent with something. Maybe something as simple (and umm...bleak) as acknowledging that everything we see will crumble. Some will come out victorious over their bodies by denying themselves things they love (i.e. chocolate, ice cream, smoking). Maybe Lent isn't so much 40 days of suffering. Maybe it's 40 days of preparation for a victory.  

I might spend 40 days thinking about being victorious.

But ultimately, I think I'm going to give up over-analyzing Lent. Give up on imagining what everyone's spiritual sacrifice should be. Give up on imagining where someone else's victory lies, and what their shout of victory should sound like.

I give that up.

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Side note: IF I were going to give up something small for Lent, it would probably be Korean dramas (I'm an addict), and I would believe that Sunday is a "feast day" wherein no suffering is allowed. It is a time of celebration. And I celebrate Kim Hyun Joong in Inspiring Generation! Team Gaya!