The Bigger Picture

One of the comments last week was about God's "plan." Personally, I've always been really disheartened by talk of God's "plan" because who the heck knows what that is? It's a black hole of shrugs. So whenever I feel disturbed and need to know why  something is happening or how it can ever be better, a reference to God's "plan" can fill me with rage. As a Christian. So I really understand how non-Christians can be done in by it.

We're closing out our Joseph detour in Hebrews 11 by going to his verse:

By faith Joseph, when his end was near, spoke about the exodus of the Israelites from Egypt and gave instructions concerning the burial of his bones. - Hebrews 11:22

We really went over the big parts of Joseph's life in the past three posts, so why is something at his death the big deal? Why are a few words concerning something that was very far out and not even fathomed by others at this point, that being their descendants' enslavement in and exodus from Egypt? 

Every day that Joseph spent as a slave, and every day that he was locked up in a prison was for one purpose. And that purpose is revealed when Joseph's brothers come to apologize and offer themselves up as his slaves in Egypt: 

But Joseph said to them, “Don’t be afraid. Am I in the place of God? You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. - Genesis 50:19-20.

Joseph went through what he went through so he would be in a position to save lives as Prime Minister/Vizier of Egypt. Understanding and acknowledging that seems like a HUGE faith moment, but it's not the moment that is mentioned in Hebrews 11.Through everything he went through, Joseph's eye wasn't to his own issues but rather to the everlasting covenant that God had made to him through Abraham. Joseph's faith was in the bigger picture, and he knew he wouldn't live to see the bigger picture, so he wanted his bones carried out of Egypt to the Promised Land with his people. The same people who had betrayed and deserted him to some cruel fates. He could've dwelt on that issue, but he saw the Bigger Picture...and it included them.

Those squiggles represent "mystery" and that's supposed to be a sun in the corner...

I never see the Bigger Picture, because I'm very focused on the little picture. That's why comments about God's "plan" will likely be met with an eye roll. The little picture excludes a lot of people who have a role in both your life and God's overall plan. I often ignore these people, dismiss them, or flat out hate them because they're not in my little picture, so who cares?! The little picture is simply SO much easier to see. Since I can see everything in the little picture, it requires zero faith...and I think (I don't know) that in the absence of faith there exists despair. If Joseph didn't have faith beyond his situation, but just looked at the little picture and all the things in it and analyzed them...he would've lost it. I have no doubt, he would've totally lost it.

I lose it on a regular basis. But I'm praying for faith to look at the bigger picture so that it will drive out all of my fear and despair, so that I can open up myself to others when I really want to close myself off. So I can be joyful when everything in the little picture is sad. And so I can leave room for God to turn it all around, instead of confine myself to the frame of small tragic picture. It's super hard, but whoever said that genuine faith was easy?

"The worst thing in my whole life became the most beautiful thing..." 

- Tye Tribbett "Beauty for Ashes"

Christian Mingle: Beyond your Wildest Dreams?

It's been a long time since I've written about my dating life. But I saw something a few weeks ago on ChristianMingle.com that gave me pause:

Education: Some College
Occupation: Attorney/Professor*

Are you thinking what I'm thinking?! It's kind of like: "something isn't quite right here..." While you can be both an attorney and a professor. You can be neither of them with just "some college." It just doesn't make sense.

But...sometimes in life, things don't seem to fit. So I started to wonder how Joseph's ChristianMingle account would be set up (we're sticking with Joe Manganiello as Joseph):





How did he get here?! Three weeks ago he was in Bon Temps, I mean, prison and now he's the Vizier/Prime Minister of Egypt?

Back to Genesis.

Two years after the chief baker was freed/restored to his position, Pharaoh had a dream that couldn't be interpreted. And suddenly we're here. And, I honestly don't know what it feels like to suddenly be at "your moment" but Joseph is in his moment. Thirteen years (13 years!) he's been either a slave or a convicted criminal. In that situation, what would your opinion be of God? For 13 years he believed and declared God to be "good" and faithful, when it didn't make a ton of sense. The bible repeatedly says Joseph had favor, but he was a highly favored slave and convict. That context matters...doesn't it? But I digress.

Pharaoh has a wild dream, and the chief baker finally remembers Joe. So they bring him in and Pharaoh says:

“In my dream, behold, I was standing on the bank of the Nile; and behold, seven cows, fat and sleek came up out of the Nile, and they grazed in the marsh grass. Lo, seven other cows came up after them, poor and very ugly and gaunt, such as I had never seen for ugliness in all the land of Egypt; and the lean and ugly cows ate up the first seven fat cows. Yet when they had devoured them, it could not be detected that they had devoured them, for they were just as ugly as before. Then I awoke. I saw also in my dream, and behold, seven ears, full and good, came up on a single stalk; and lo, seven ears, withered, thin, and scorched by the east wind, sprouted up after them; and the thin ears swallowed the seven good ears. Then I told it to the magicians, but there was no one who could explain it to me.” - Genesis 41:17-24

But Joseph, empowered by God, interpreted the dreams to be about a famine. That there would be 7 years of awesome plenty, and then 7 years of tragic, debilitating, Great Depression x 1000 famine. And he just made a few suggestions about how to prepare for this economic and climactic disaster.

Pharaoh was floored.

Then Pharaoh said to his servants, “Can we find a man like this, in whom is a divine spirit?” So Pharaoh said to Joseph, “Since God has informed you of all this, there is no one so discerning and wise as you are. You shall be over my house, and according to your command all my people shall do homage; only in the throne I will be greater than you. - Genesis 41:38-40

And that's how Joseph came upon a really weird, but really awesome ChristianMingle profile. But it made me think of two NT scriptures that are really encouraging. Joseph's life really sucked. Majorly. this is not up for dispute, but God can change your situation so completely...in a crazy way.

For consider your calling, brethren, that there were not many wise according to the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble; but God has chosen the foolish things of the world to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to shame the things which are strong 

- 1 Corinthians 1:26-27

How did those magicians feel when they brought this guy out from the dungeon to do what they couldn't do?

Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen. - Ephesians 3:20-21

I bet all Joseph wanted was to go home! All Joseph wanted was to not be in prison! But man...look at how much more God had in store for him. Thirteen years in the making. Something beyond his wildest dreams.


*I talked to that guy, and he said that was a mistake. He laughed and said: "yeah, I did 'some college' and then some more!" Careful on those profiles fellas. 

The Law of Variation

Is this blog about Darwin's book The Origin of Species? Nope. So if my title threw you, apologies. This blog is, yet again, about comparisons (through the lens of Joseph).

And it made me think of Facebook. Facebook is a place where all the people who in the past, were in the same place in life as you, are gathered and noted for their current variation. And in many cases, this variation makes you feel a certain way. And for the purpose of this blog, the law of variation is this: People who are doing better than me make me sad; while people who are doing worse than me make me grateful.

I'll be on Facebook, sometimes, using it alternately as reasons to beat myself up or as therapy. But is that okay? Scripture says that people who compare themselves to other people are "without understanding" (2 Corinthians 10:12). I'm often just like that. Totally without understanding, so I'm seeking to educate myself, via this blog.

We're at the point in the story where Joseph is in prison for attempted rape.

Pharaoh was furious with his two officials, the chief cupbearer and the chief baker. So he put them in confinement in the house of the captain of the bodyguard, in the jail, the same place where Joseph was imprisoned. The captain of the bodyguard put Joseph in charge of them, and he took care of them; and they were in confinement for some time. - Genesis 40:2-4

The cupbearer and the baker were in the "same place" in life as Joseph. And they were in there for a while, so they became friends. Joseph took care of them. 

One night these two guys have dreams. And they can't figure out what they mean; so they become super sad. Joseph says “Do not interpretations belong to God? Tell it to me, please.”

The dreams in themselves are interesting, but for the purpose of brevity Joseph interpreted the dreams to mean (1) that in 3 days the cupbearer would be released and restored to his position; (2)  that in 3 days the chief baker would be executed for his crime. 

And it happened just that way. But Joseph remained in prison. 

...you may be thinking: where are you going with this? 

I'm thinking: why am I nothing like Joseph? If Joseph had been like me...the law of variation would have come into play. I would've started thinking about what people "deserve." Joseph had spent considerable time with these two men; they'd been in the same place for a long time. But things were about to change...for everyone except Joseph. If I was Joseph, all I would be able to think about is how we were all in the same place, except they actually deserved to be there (as they actually offended Pharaoh), whereas I was innocent and "deserved" to be free. So, if I looked at the cupbearer, I'd be pissed. And if I looked at the chief baker I'd think: "well...I could be that guy". However, there is zero indication that Joseph thinks like me. None.

Darwin break: 

“When a variation is of the slightest use to a being, we cannot tell how much of it to attribute to the accumulative action of natural selection, and how much to the conditions of life.” And the poor match between environment and patterns of variation “incline[s] me to lay very little weight on the direct action of the conditions of life.” - Darwin, Origin of Species, Ch. 5

There was just a variation in their little trio. Three people who were in the same boat, are now in three totally different situations, through no action of their own. One is free. One is dead. And one remains imprisoned. If I go with Darwin...this makes sense. Per the above quote, very little weight falls on condition, and nearly all of it falls on natural selection. But in the mind of a Christian, that "natural selection" is the will, purpose, and the plan of God. 
  
This is a hard pill to swallow sometimes, because we think so highly of ourselves (even though we shouldn't; Romans 12:3) and by comparison so little of others (even though we shouldn't; Philippians 2:3). Thinking the way we do, we don't understand why we remain imprisoned (in whatever situation you happen to view as your "prison"). But, regardless of the changes happening in the lives of the people around us, we have to believe that God is with us even in the prison. 

And you can see that Joseph believed in this, from what he said before the change even took place:
“Do not interpretations belong to God? Tell it to me, please.”Joseph knows that God is with him and working through him despite of everything that his been through. 

Joseph didn't use comparisons to the cupbearer to fall into a depression, and then use a comparison to the chief baker to dig himself out of it. He kept his focus on God's work for him, and he only asked the cupbearer, "keep me in mind when it goes well with you, and please do me a kindness by mentioning me to Pharaoh and get me out of this house" (Genesis 40:14). 

But you know what? That guy totally forgot about him (Genesis 40:23). And I would think that's because Joseph can't catch a break...but it was because of the will, purpose, and plan of God. 



...to be continued.

Do the Right Thing

"Do the right thing" is a thought only considered when doing the wrong thing seems like an easy/better choice. Sometimes doing the wrong thing has perks, and the right thing has consequences. This is why people lie on tax returns. Truth will keep them from financial benefit. It's why people lie on dating profiles, because "divorced, has kids, unemployed, drinks regularly" will limit your responses. It's why people beef up their resumes for job interviews...it's actually why we do nearly everything dishonest. We're looking for a better result than we think we'd get from walking the straight and narrow.

I have a funny story. My family and I went on vacation a few
years ago in Orlando, FL and my sisters and I wanted to take the kids to Disney World. We were a little light on funds and had heard about these deep discount ticket sellers, and decided to check them out. The guy at the booth tells us his price. Reasonable. And then he begins to "prep" us for our entry into Disney World.

Ticket Seller: (pantomimes a happy traveler marching to the beat of a drum) So you walk up to the line, happy, smiling, everything is order.

Which, of course, meant everything was actually out of order. I hadn't realized we were buying partially used multi-day passes. I expressed concern, and he assured us that everything would be fine and continued to tell us what we had to do and what he had to say to enjoy the magic that is Disney.

I was out. I couldn't do it. Needless to say, the kids never went to Disney. We had legitimate multi-day passes to Islands of Adventure, Universal Studios, and Harry Potter World. We'd have to be content with that.

Which leads me back to Joseph.*

We left off with Joseph being sold out of the pit into the land of Egypt. He is bought by a wealthy Egyptian official named Potiphar, whose wife is about to have a major issue with contentment.

Can you really blame her?

If you've never read Genesis 39 before, you should check it out. It's the stuff of scandalous Lifetime television. But here's the breakdown.

1. Joseph is bought by Potiphar and becomes like the CEO of this guys business. Joseph is in charge (Genesis 39:1-5)
2. Joseph is super hot. In my mind he's Joe Manganiello...In a tunic. But 17. With a less full beard? Or he's just Joe as he is now. That works for me.  (Genesis 39:6)
3. Potiphar's wife is dropping everything from come-hither looks to blunt requests for a booty call. (Genesis 39:7)
4. Joseph says NO.  (Genesis 39:8)

There's something unique about the way Joseph says no, that really resounded with me:

 “Behold, with me here, my master does not concern himself with anything in the house, and he has put all that he owns in my charge. There is no one greater in this house than I, and he has withheld nothing from me except you, because you are his wife. How then could I do this great evil and sin against God?” 
 - Genesis 39:8-9

Joseph almost waxes poetic about all the good things his master has done for him. So why then would his sin be, not against that master, but against God? Joseph recognized that everything he had was given to him by God. So then, for him to take what God had not given him was a sin against God. I think that's pretty deep. 

Joseph had a lot of power and prestige, but I at the end of the day, he was a bought and paid for slave. We start to feel so big when we get a taste of power, and we hate the thing that makes us feel like "less than". Joseph could have everything but one thing: Potiphar's wife. By having her, he could undoubtedly have more. 

"The tempter was his mistress, one whose favour would help him forward; and it was at his utmost peril if he slighted her, and made her his enemy. The time and place favoured the temptation." - Matthew Henry

To take her up on her offer would be to have more. To pass on it could mean her wrath and fury. Suddenly, there seems to be a pretty steep downside to "do the right thing."

Except, for Joseph there was no upside, because he was already content. Go back to v. 8 and 9 above and see where Joseph's focus is. It's on what he has. It's not on the fact that he was thrown in a pit, sold into slavery, or that he was a servant of God in the service of heathens.

Joseph didn't covet (yearn to possess) that woman/more power/more glory. But...unfortunately, he was coveted. That woman probably had it good. Rich husband, nice house, and servants. It's when she started looking at what she couldn't have that trouble ensued:

1. Potiphar's wife finagles some alone time with Joseph and demands his services. She's even grabbing at his clothes! He runs away leaving his cloak in her hands.  Genesis 39:11-12
2. While he's gone she cries attempted rape, using the cloak as proof. Genesis 39:16-18

Off to jail he goes. At the end of chapter 39, things are looking pretty grim for Joseph. And it makes us mad. He didn't deserve this!  He held on to his integrity and ended up in a freaking dungeon! What's up with that? We'll come to that later, because Joseph's life is a lesson in "everything happens for a reason."

The big deal here is do we have a problem with contentment? Do you behave in the interest of the best result or do you refuse to go outside of God's will for what you don't have (yet)? Are we willing to do the right thing when we know there will be consequences?



*I couldn't think of anything TERRIBLE enough to be of appropriate comparison with Joseph. We lost out on Disney World. Joseph lost out on his freedom, I'm aware of this mismatch in the severity of consequences.

Why are You so Jealous?!

Suddenly nauseous. Hands sweaty as I pick up my blinking phone. Nervous. Hoping (desperately) not for bad news, but rather for status quo. This is the feeling I sometimes get when someone texts me or calls me with what I'm fearing is a revelation of their super awesome happy news. It's not that I don't want them to have happy news, or to be happy in general. I just know their news will make me reflect on my lack of news. And I will start to feel sad and dejected.

True story: I once was on an e-mail chain with 3 other girls. One girl was getting a new job. Another girl was buying a new house. And the third girl was embarking upon a new and exciting relationship. I wanted to reply with:

"I also have great news! ...I just saved a ton of money on my car insurance by switching to Geico!"

The thing is, that would have been a true statement; I was legitimately hype about my $46/mo comprehensive auto insurance! But, by comparison, it simply felt too lame so I kept it to myself and simply congratulated them (honestly) on their happy news. And...then I cried myself to sleep (Psalms 6:6). Just kidding. I didn't cry...that day.

Sometimes though, the comparisons game can create a much more disastrous reaction.

Comparisons and the envy (or in some cases, the gratitude) that it makes us feel can KILL our faith and make us do things that are horrible. It made me think loosely of Joseph, who is next in the Hebrews 11 series.

There's so much to this guy, that I feel like I have to write ALL about him before I get to his Hebrews 11 verse:

By faith Joseph, when his end was near, spoke about the exodus of the Israelites from Egypt and gave instructions concerning the burial of his bones.

It goes right to the end--literally to his last breath! But the beginning and the middle of the life of Joseph is really awesome. I can't fast forward Joseph! I won't!  If you've never read Genesis 37, I implore you to do so. It's pretty messed up. I'm going to give a quick rundown:

1. Joseph is his father Jacob's golden boy and it makes his 10 brothers hate his guts- Genesis 37:4
2. Joseph is oblivious to this hatred and tells them all about his dreams in which they are all bowing down to him. So they hate him even more - Genesis 37:5-11
3. Joseph goes out to find his brothers tending sheep. They see him from afar and plan to kill him - Genesis 37:18-21
4. They change their minds (killing is just too much) and decide throw him in a pit and then to sell him into slavery instead - Genesis 37:26-28
5. They go back home and tell their father he was eaten by a wild beast. Jacob is devastated.  Genesis 37:31-35

So right off the bat, we have Joseph, a VICTIM of comparisons. Jealous of their father's love for Joseph. Jealous of his wardrobe. Jealous of his dreams. These 10 brothers are super sad and dejected, and as a result: super angry. Right here, with just this chapter, Joseph could play the "who's life sucks more" game and win hands down. But Joseph never plays! Sadly, though, just because you don't play, doesn't mean you're not in the game.

I think it's important to note that Joseph and his brothers are the origination of the tribes of Israel. These are God's people, and they are all in the game. But why?

What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight.- James 4:1-2

It's impossible to be both content and envious. To be both happy and jealous. We know this. But the non-spiritual manner in which we go about removing the envy and jealousy to get to contentment/happiness can be brutal.

And so begins a series within a series on the faith of Joseph. Who was content and faithful even following the pit.

But before we go there, think about who you've thrown in a pit...and why.

Adopted: Heirs to Promise

Back at it. Hebrews 11.

In doing this series, I have really come to respect the preachers who do verse by verse sermons as opposed to topical. Both are difficult, I'm sure...but this verse by verse stuff is murder. I always want to skip a verse! I'm always thinking: I don't get it.

So here I am in the Hall of Faith with vs. 21:

By faith Jacob, as he was dying, blessed each of the sons of Joseph, and worshiped, leaning on the top of his staff. - Hebrews 11:21

This seems very similar to the last verse about Isaac blessing Jacob and Esau. Except it's not. Up to this point, there has been a pattern of God giving what, by law, belonged to the elder son to the younger. In every case though, the reason is different: 

1. Ishmael's inheritance went to Isaac. Why? Because Isaac was the son of promise; the result of faith in God. Ishmael was the son of self-reliance, born out of distrust of God (see Galatians 4:22-23)
2. Esau's inheritance went to Jacob. Why? Because of God's sovereign will. The younger will serve the elder. 
3. Manasseh's inheritance went to Ephraim...stop! That's not actually how it goes down.

Manasseh and Ephraim don't get an inheritance from Jacob. They're not his kids. These children are first, adopted by Jacob and then given a standing equal to that of his biological sons.

“Now then, your two sons born to you in Egypt before I came to you here will be reckoned as mine; Ephraim and Manasseh will be mine, just as Reuben and Simeon are mine..." Genesis 48:5

The blessings they receive are both great. Not like what happened with Ishmael and Esau. Both of
these children have been adopted into the family of God, and the future of both is great. Jacob extended his inheritance to them by faith, knowing the will of God for the two of them corporately and individually. He was blind, and Joseph was guiding his hands over their heads, but by faith he crossed his hands over their heads giving the blessing out according to the will of God.

So what? Who cares? 

I'll agree this is a tough one, but I was moved by the thought "The first shall be last, and the last shall be first" (Matthew 20:1-16).  Both with these children and the workers in the Matthew 20 parable, people receive a part of the inheritance from the Father, but not in the order and not in the amount expected. The work of Christ was so radical. The things he said about salvation and it's application to those who were not Jewish was unheard of. 

"There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free man, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus." - Galatians 3:28

All one, all the same, all children of promise with an inheritance from God.

At the end of Jacob's blessing he says:

By you Israel will pronounce blessing, saying,
‘May God make you like Ephraim and Manasseh!

This blessing is still pronounced on sons in Jewish families, and there are a lot of differing opinions about what it means. Some think it's about brothers who don't fight, because they never fought over this blessing like their predecessors. Some think it's about being godly in an ungodly surrounding (Israelites living in Egypt). But I think they were blessed in their adoption. Blessed in being grafted in and raised to the position of son...because that's what we all want. To be heirs together with Jesus Christ. To be claimed by God. 

So...may God make you like Ephraim and Manasseh. 

Shalom.

The Justice System Works? Thoughts on Trayvon Martin

My blog is generally of a spiritual nature. But I felt like I had to put in my two cents about Trayvon Martin.  

Disclaimer: It's legitimately my two cents. A lot of people will disagree with me and that's fine. Some might agree with me, and I don't really care about that either. This is not about changing minds or educating someone. I'm just getting my feelings out there. I tried to think of ways to tie it in to the biblical principles for which I stand...like Martin Luther King did. And I came up empty. Please feel free to leave me some verses for encouragement.

I often marvel at Dr. King because he preached a message of love, forgiveness and turning the other cheek in a time when it was obvious that our justice system was broken. That was 50+ years ago. And now, in the wake of this case, many are asking us to respect the justice system and say that the verdict we received is an example of a healthy justice system at work, but I have to wonder:

When did it start working?

It didn't work when Emmitt Till's murderers were acquitted. They were acquitted and 1 year later made a confession in Look magazine. Emmitt Till's crime? He whistled at a white woman while buying candy at the grocery store. They were paid $4,000 by the magazine; profiting cheaply off of the murder of a 14 year old boy who was invaluable to his mother.

We no longer live in the same world that Emmitt Till was murdered in. I understand and believe that.  But I wondered if we're glimpsing it. Maybe next year George Zimmerman will confess to his crime, and get paid something greater than the $30,000 a month he's been making for the past two years (profiting handsomely if I must say so). Or maybe he didn't commit a crime and that money is restitution for his pain and suffering at being wrongly accused. I will leave room for that. Perhaps he really acted in self-defense. The justice system says the killing of Trayvon Martin was justified. However, something worries me...

There's no lesson. There's no advice.

Trayvon Martin didn't know George Zimmerman even existed. He didn't target that man, he didn't follow that man. Trayvon wasn't a gangbanger. He wasn't a robber. He wasn't a rapist. He wasn't even in the wrong place at the wrong time (as this "place" is often in the path of a stray bullet, at a night club, on the sidelines of a street fight, etc., etc.). Rather, he simply wanted some candy, much like Emmitt Till did. Perhaps candy is the lesson? Don't eat it. It rots your teeth and it might get you killed. Or maybe it's similar to the lesson society teaches young women: don't walk alone at night. For us women, we're told not to make ourselves easy prey to depraved men who might rape and murder us. Likewise, is the answer is to tell black youths: don't go outside at night, because someone might be afraid of you? That person might follow you, and engage you in first a verbal, then physical altercation. Suddenly, the answer hits me and I think: in the event of the aforementioned, Don't fight back. If you fight back, they can kill you with impunity. If you don't fight back...maybe they'll stop. Or, if you don't fight back, and they still kill you, there is a chance you'll get justice.

Don't fight back.

Sure, it backtracks us more than 50 years to a time when we stepped off the sidewalk so as not to be in the way of white people. "Don't fight back" speaks to a time when we willingly sat in the back of the bus. "Don't fight back" speaks to a time when we used separate bathrooms because white people were afraid of our germs. "Don't fight back" speaks to consented "learning" in segregated elementary schools (like the one that my own mother attended).  "Don't fight back" was the underbelly of the laws that prevented black people from coming into contact with white people as equals. "Don't fight back" also extended into our courtrooms, just ask Mamie Till, the parents of the Scottsboro boys, and maybe now...the Martins.

I like to think that I'm exaggerating. I like to believe that the Martins aren't an echo of the Tills. I like to believe that what happened in Florida is an isolated incident, and that the little boys with dark skin that are important parts of my life are immune to the kind of death Trayvon Martin suffered. People ask me to respect the justice system, because it works. I thought it worked in a "if you don't wanna do the time, don't do the crime" sort of way. But if the person who pulled the trigger finds justification through our justice system, that means the culpable party was...Trayvon. If I am to believe that our justice system works, he did something wrong, but I need help figuring out what it is.

This isn't about white vs. black for me. For me, it's about minimizing risk, and for that I need to pinpoint the mistake Trayvon made that led to his demise and the subsequent release of his killer. I'm desperately trying to think of a way to tell my nephews Kenny, Kayden, Gabriel, Jhalil, and Caeli how to avoid the fate of Trayvon Martin, and all I can think of is "don't fight back." And that truly terrifies me.