Sunday Post - What's my Purpose?

It's been a really long time since I wrote a "Sunday Post." I think there is more to be said on faith, but this week I was thinking about being a disciple of Christ.

We all know that we're supposed to be witnesses, that our light is supposed to shine, and that we're supposed to "teach all nations" blah, blah, blah. However, sometimes it seems like that is someone else's job. It's someone else's purpose. But then I had this random thought: "if I put on Christ..."

Sometimes that's how a good Bible study starts: with a super random thought.

What is My Purpose?

Everyone has purpose issues. Everyone is confused about their goals in life. But, as Christians, if we have wisdom…we have determined that what is TRUE and RIGHT is for our purpose to be aligned with God’s purpose.

But what does God want from me? We find our purpose clearly laid out in Romans 8:29:

For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren.

Is it crazy, that of all the things I think I SHOULD be in this life, I'm really supposed to simply be JUST like Christ? God wants me to want…what HE wants. God wants me to LOVE what HE loves. God wants me to DO what HE would do. If my purpose is to be just like Christ, then His goals must be MY goals.

Kind of takes away some of the confusion about what I should be striving for...

What are the Goals of Christ?

The best way to determine which goals I should take on, I should see what Jesus actually came to do...what were dude's goals?

1. I Timothy 1:15: "This is a faithful saying, and worthy of all acceptation, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners”
2. Mark 2:17: and Jesus said… “They that are whole have no need of the physician, but they that are sick: I came not to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance."
3. Luke 19:10 "For the Son of man is come to seek and to save that which was lost."
4. John 12:46 "I am come a light into the world, that whosoever believeth on Me should not abide in darkness.

So we’ve heard why Christ came. We’ve heard his goals: to save sinners by seeking the lost and sick, and to be a light in the world. But what does that mean for me? I'm not Christ...I can't SAVE anyone. My job is faith. Bada bing...bada boom. BUT WAIT, because Christ had one more goal: To send.

John 20:21: "As My Father hath sent Me, even so send I you."

He sends you,

1. To SEEK those who are lost, and those who are sick!

a. To seek them! This is deep, because we like them to “come to us” or we ask God to “send them to us.” But that wasn’t Christ’s approach. We are to seek those who need Christ.

He sends you,

2. To be a Light in the World.

a. Matthew 5:14-16 says: Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on an hill cannot be hid. Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.

"As My Father hath sent Me, even so send I you." (A little dramatic reiteration…)

Even so, Christ sends YOU. He sends you. He sends me. Do we accept the call? There was a time when we all sat in church as lost sinners. There was a time when we sat in congregations as seekers for something more, and someone asked us to accept a call. Then, it was the call to salvation. Then, it was the call to His Grace. But, now, this is something else. Now, it is a call to true purpose. This is a call to be more like Christ by taking on His mission…

Disclaimer: This is not a “call via blog.” No, no, no...I'm not admonishing anyone to take to the field. I'm talking to and about ME. Knowing this (the aforementioned) do I have a right to still act aimless? Do I have a right to still look at my life and say "what now Lord?"

That random thought kind of haunts me: “If I put on Christ”...then I put on His mission.

Convicted...

Impromptu Haiku Movie Review: Takers

Revenge should be sweet
A dish served by pretty boys
This flick is sour

Takers is this summer's high-action "heist" flick. The movie follows a (gorgeous) band of thieves who--fresh off a successful bank robbery--are presented with a once-in-a-lifetime, high-stakes "job" by a less-than-trustworthy ex-con and ex-partner.

...I wish I could say more, but that's the movie in a nutshell. If I type anything else, I will have told you the ending.

The movie tries to be multi-faceted by attempting to build a strong subplot around the cops investigating the bank robbery (cops played by Matt Dillon and Jay Hernandez), but ultimately you never care about them.

 This movie sucked. I have to come right out and say that. Also, for those who like to berate me for being down on "black film" I want it to be known: this is NOT a black film. It was written and directed by John Luessenhop. Luessenhop, as you ALL know, is a common African-American surname (sarcasm). This movie just happened to star a lot of black actors. And guess what? They succeeded at ONE thing and one thing only: LOOKING HOT. See Exhibits A - D below (Chris Brown, Idris Elba, T.I., and Michael Ealy):

So, what we have here is a cast of BEAUTIFUL black men, who--admittedly--I enjoyed seeing, but I didn't enjoy watching their performance. The acting was horrific, and there were MANY scenes that simply made no sense. But WAIT, there's more! The movie also threw in two pretty hot white dudes (Hayden Christensen and Paul Walker):

So, A for eye candy, but overall, this movie was a C-.

Fear of Missing Out

Fear of Missing Out.

It sounds kind of innocuous. "FOMO." It is like “LOL” or “IDK” or “OMG.” It’s just another acronym that we use. Just a few more letters to mumble as language. However, this one might be more than that. FOMO is a way of life for many. FOMO is the undercurrent of many of our social lives. So, I think maybe I should break the acronym down a little further:

Fear - a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid
Missing - lacking, absent, or not found
Out - away from, or not in, the normal or usual place, position, state, etc.

So technically speaking, FOMO is a distressing emotion, aroused by the real or imagined threat of either being “out” or missing out on something amazing as a result of mere absence.
We need to be seen. Or we disappear.

The Evolution of Expectations

Remember when you went out for fun? This is the crux of the issue. Remember when you went out for FUN?! I remember when I used to go out to Red Lobster for the Ultimate Feast simply because I liked shrimp and lobster and I thought spending $23 on dinner meant I was rich! I remember when I used to go to BBQs because I knew there would be good food, hilarious talk, and a rousing game of Taboo. I remember when I went to the club to—wait for it—DANCE!

Then one day, magically, I started going out for different reasons:

1. I should really go to that happy hour; there are so many networking opportunities.
2. I’m tired, but I’d better hit this party…my husband could be there!
3. I really don’t feel like it, but I ought to go to that BBQ and be social…I need more friends! If I stay home alone one more Friday, I’m officially a loser. 

And so, what ends up happening is that the weekend that we worked for…turns into work. We spend the whole week legitimately doing things we HAVE to do, things that we are paid to do. Then, if you suffer from FOMO, instead of doing what you want to do, you spend money doing what you’re afraid not to do. How tragic is that?

Pretty darn tragic.

The Cure

Go back to that place when going out was for fun. Release expectations. And only go, when you actually FEEL like it. When what you really want is to go home, put on some sweats, and watch a DVD with chips and ice cream: DO THAT! Don’t decide that’s what a loser would do and go to a house party of a friend of a friend who knows this cute boy (who is totally your type) who sometimes does magic tricks and plays guitar and who might be there. Cuz guess what? Guitar guy is NEVER there! And if he is…some other girl is all over him. Ruffles foregone for NADA. That’s how you feel when you go out for ulterior motives. When you go out with an expectation of awesomeness, nothing you do can ever be awesome. Every weekend is New Year’s Eve—an overhyped letdown. It’s when you go out just for the pleasure of the company you’re with. It’s when you go out just to BE out, that you end up having the best night ever. And you’re probably so transcendent with the glow of true fun, that you’re attracting the attention you’re so afraid that you’re missing.

I can’t let any of my actions be motivated by FEAR. If my play time is motivated by anxiety and despair, is it even possible that I’m having fun? I’m working on my motivations, and I think I did a REALLY good job this weekend.

Thursday: Drinks and Gelato
Friday: Jazz in the Garden
Saturday: Eat Pray Love and Restaurant Week at Oyamel
Sunday: cleaned, packed, moved

I can honestly say that this weekend I hung out with girls. No chance to meet “Mr. Right” and no ulterior motives. No FOMO!. Well, a little bit of FOMO. The weekend was a little over-scheduled and I left it that way because there is a slight fear of losing friendships that I battle (see below story). I didn’t spend ENOUGH time on me. I would have liked to have spent more of the weekend cuddled up with a DVD and some ice cream…but I have next weekend for that!!

Brief Story: Once, a girl that I wanted to be good friends with invited me to see a Jon Stewart show. Since I'm not a Jon Stewart fan, I said no (it was like $80). The person she asked after me, became a very close friend of hers/future roommate/accompanied her on a trip to Australia/awesomeness. I never reached that level of friendship...and I always wondered: Jon Stewart?

Impromptu Haiku Movie Review: Eat, Pray, Love

Dispassionate Life
Accept it? Or strive for change?
Learn how to be here.

Eat, Pray, Love is the new film out starring Julia Roberts, based on the acclaimed memoir by Elizabeth Gilbert. I'll tell you this, it wasn't the BEST movie I've ever seen...but I felt it was thought provocative. I didn't read the book, so I'm not sure what I missed out on. But the movie seemingly left out much of the suffering and soul-searching that should have served as the impetus for her "quest." The movie made it more like Liz was a bored, disenchanted wife who went on a trip so she could stop being focused on relationships. I understand from fans of the book that there is MORE to it than that.

But weak plot development notwithstanding, I still feel like women (and men too!) can identify with the character's main quest. She's searching for what everyone wants: happiness. My take-away from the movie was something that I've been thinking of for a long time: We can't be happy because we've already decided what "happy" is and are in pursuit of that and only that. The movie shows what happens when you "Let Yourself Go." There's a scene in the movie where Liz is laying on the floor of her boyfriend's apartment, crying. She can't be in the bed with him...and she says: "I don't know how to be here." This is the point of the whole movie. The movie is about opening up, about being available spiritually for what's out there, and about learning how to simply "be" in this life. And we see Liz go for it, through the pleasure of food in Italy, through spiritual enlightenment in India, to finding love again in Bali. And while she ate, I laughed. While she prayed, I reflected. And when she loved, I waxed a little jealous. So all in all, I was entertained.

Honorable mention to Javier Bardem, who in my opinion is the epitome of "sexy ugly!" I love him, please meet ME in Bali! Also, props go out to Viola Davis, I like seeing her in movies...her dry wit cracks me up, and I like the bff action.

All in all, decent film. Can be seen in the theaters, but if you wanted excellence, you should wait for DVD.

The Anatomy of a Girl Crush

Disclaimer: This is the kind of post you heed only if you have time (as this is one of my bored posts).

So, I was "leafing" through the CNN Living section this morning, and came across the most rag-tag article on girl crushes that I have ever seen.

If you live under a rock then you may not know what a Girl Crush (GC) is. However, if you're lonely and there is another girl under that rock...you definitely know. But even so, let me educate you:

Girl Crush - ahem...ummm...uh, these urbandictionary.com definitions are largely correct, but I don't think they capture the essence of the GC.

So, it is fair to say that there is not a consensus on the nature of a GC, except for this one CRITICAL point: it's usually not sexual. The girl crush is definitely a hetero thing, but what CNN failed to grasp is the "strength" of the girl crush.

See the CNN Article. And then read--what I feel--is a more accurate depiction of this old-as-time phenomenon from the NY Times. Side Note: I love the NY Times!

Caveat 1: the CNN article isn't wrong, per se. Sometimes it's just that shallow. I always find myself "crushing" (CNN-style) on those girls who can pull off the hippie/bohemian chic look. People with snazzy haircuts, and the tall girls who wear gray leggings with oversized t-shirts that are shredded in the back, and who wear gloves with the fingers cut out. I love (and kind of hate) people who can look "too cool for school" in an almost effortless way!

Caveat 2: The NY Times article isn't right, per se. Sometimes it's just not that serious. But when it IS...that's the crazy stuff! Which really highlights how much more emotionally expressive women are in ALL of their relationships. I feel like CNN reduces the GC to fashion jealousy. And that's just rude and a downplay of the complexity of women. Not that men aren't complex...but...they're not complex. HULK SMASH!

So really, what the two articles depict (when taken together) is a spectrum of emotions that play into female friendships/relationships.

Girl crushes, in my experience, are a distraction. A most welcomed distraction actually. Even in boy/girl-heterosexual-I-write-our-names-inside-hearts-and-imagine-the-names-of-our-children crushes, the rush of that crush is so fun and exciting. Especially when compared with the work of a real relationship, though the relationship is more fulfilling and can lead to long-term happiness.

I feel like girl crushes--because they are so akin to the aforementioned boy/girl crush (you get a lot of the same emotional triggers, imo)--create all the fun and excitement that make you want to fall in love for real. In some ways, you want something more to share with this new friend. And it is in these moments that your girl crush dissipates (or is it grows?) into friendship.

Reasons why the Girl Crush Dissipates (Grows?) into Friendship

1. All Crushes are Based on Fantasy

Crushes are based on your made-up perception of someone's awesomeness, because the crush is developed when NO relationship truly exists. A crush is based on what you've created someone to be based solely on:

• their outward appearance,
• conversations you've overheard (because no one was talking to you), and
• their "paper credentials" (i.e Harvard MBA, was in the Peace Corps, rescued a baby whale, paints/sings/dances/plays piano, etc.).

Once you're in this person's orbit, and you get to know the REAL them...the crush dies. And as long as the real them is tolerable, a friendship can ensue.

2. The Friendship is what you want anyway

The ultimate hope of a crush is to be together. Plain and simple. And so once you've won over your crush, you move into the friendship. And friendships are full of non-crush behavior because expectations now exist and true colors are shown. So you fight, feelings get hurt, you disappoint each other, but at the same time you're so THERE for each other that something much stronger than the crush develops: a real friendship. And that's what you wanted anyway, someone to be "your person." Someone who really gets you. This is what we all want:



If you've ever watched Grey's Anatomy, you know what I'm talking about. If you don't watch Greys...WHO ARE YOU?! Get ye to Hulu immediately! This year was the best season finale of ALL time (on any show...ever).

I am done. That picture of Mere and Cristina though...makes me want a solid BFF again. Darn!

Boredom

Nothing is worse than boredom. The constant doodling. The fantasies. The foolishness. Top 5 things to do when I'm bored:

1. Write in my blog!!

Yes, the blog keeps me from being dead. However, most blogs written in a fit of boredom NEVER get posted, because they are shamelessly stupid. I once wrote a whole blog about the fact that Value City Furniture had a facebook page. If you're ever bored, here is a link to that never-to-be-published (officially) blog post.

--Pause--If you choose to read that very short post, you'll need these link aids (which will not function in an unpublished post): VCF and broke. WAIT! I just realized that my comment regarding "broke" is not funny. That's just a hater making fun of black people...oh well. --Unpause--

2. Surf the internet

This is no ordinary surfing. This is AIMLESS surfing. This means that you Google words and phrases with little to no meaning. For example:

• "Why is the sky blue?" - Too sciency! My brain almost exploded. I get it. Scattered light, blah, blah, blah.
  

• "I am bored" - you'll get to a site that is supposed to help you. However, this site is so overwhelming in its options that the sister to Bordeom (her name is Lazy) disallows you from clicking on anything.

• "Boys boys boys"- This used to take you to some VERY questionable sites, but now...Lady GaGa. She has taken over the world:

So bored...you have to watch the video. There's about 3 - 4 minutes of disturbing thoughts evoked by the Lady GaGa images, and then...on to the next aimless query:

• "Lalalalalalalalalalala" - This one is scary. This takes you to a site that says:

Welcome to my really pointless website, isnt it really cool? What ever you do dont click HERE! Cause if you do you are stupid! You shouldn't click HERE or HERE either, unless of course you're an idiot.

Pretty ominous stuff...but YET you are SO bored that you ALMOST want to click "HERE" and watch your PC die a virusy death. OR it's a hoax and nothing happens, and you've called this guy's bluff. OR, only ONE of the "HERE" links is dangerous, and you can try your luck with absolutely no payoff. It's like Computer Russian Roulette! Very awesome. Very.

Note: My "HERE" links noted above are real links I made. They are not dangerous. Just fun and random.

3. Read a book - I always start doing this, and then think: "If I'm going to read a book...it should be the Good Book!" This leads to #4.

4. Read my Bible - The Bible is an awesome book, but I like to read with purpose, but the nature of boredom is purposelessness. So this activity, well-meant as it was, leads to #5.

5. Sleep - When there is nothing left, THIS is the refuge of the bored. And who knows what dreams may come? However, like I always say: It is better to be sleep than watching the Suite Life of Zack and Cody.

Side Note: Why is Taye Diggs married to someone NOT me?! There is no justice in this world!