Tired of Being Good

You see that brokedown Marge Simpson? That is what my spirituality/righteousness/"goodness"/whatever feels like right now. This was one of my rougher weeks, and if I was "on fire" for biblical love last week, that picture of Marge depicts how busted and disgusted my love is right now. Remember that biblical love is a supernatural ability, and sometimes, I find myself using the shameful excuse: "It's only natural for me to feel this way." And so, while I do still feel like Marge, it made me think of a scripture that kind of didn't make sense to me until this past week:

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers. - Galatians 6:9-10

So, it just never hit me that you can really get tired of doing the right thing! Isn't that nuts? I have this vision that it feels good to be nice to people. You know "it's better to give than to receive" and that awesome feeling you get after volunteering your time to the needy? That never gets old. You know what does get old? Swallowing pride. Turning the other cheek. Biting your tongue. All the "good stuff" that we hate to do. We? Fine...stuff that I hate to do. I admit it, I hate it with a bitter hatred. I hate it especially with those who belong to the family of believers. Why? Because I like to think it should be unnecessary in the family of believers. Why am I turning the other cheek for someone who I wouldn't expect to slap me? Awkward.

I once heard a preacher talk about the difference between "the saints" and "church folk."  Technically, all believers in the gospel of Jesus Christ are "saints": a person set apart for the Lord and His kingdom. But often, I'm reminded that sometimes we are also "church folk": crappy people who just go to church. And saints/church folk get TIRED of doing good, because saints/church folk don't make it very easy. But...we are all in process. I try to remember this. We are all in process. No one is perfect yet. My feet are still on the ground; I have not stepped onto a cloud and peaced out. It hasn't happened.

And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.- 2 Corinthians 3:18

So, I had one idea when I copy/pasted that scripture...but now I'm having another one. My first point was that we are "being transformed." That we are in process. That we have to be patient and wait for the ever-increasing glory to come from the Lord. We have to wait to be like him. And we have to wait on other people to be like Him. That is legit. I have taken that to heart.

But my second thought was:

How obvious we are. 

Lord, I don't want to be so obvious! When Moses came down from the mountain, he had a veil over his face, so that the Israelites wouldn't see the glory of the Lord fading off him. They could hear God's message unfettered by their view of Moses. And so they wouldn't be distracted or concerned by the obviously fading glory...Moses put on a veil (see Exodus 34:29).

But I don't get a veil! I either reflect the Lord's glory, or I don't. You either see Him, or you see ME. God's message either comes through loud and clear, or the audience is distracted by my fading? While I'm being transformed into his likeness, can you see me changing...or do I still look (too much) like ME?! I don't get to hide behind a veil. With unveiled face, I should be reflecting the glory of the Lord. Today...I think I look like me. Like Marge. And I wonder how obvious it is...and who I've distracted. I have taken that to heart, as well.


He must increase, but I must decrease - John 3:30