I Want to Be a Genius

Writer's block is real. I've wanted to write a blog ever since Portland, but inspiration has been far from me. Or, something would inspire me, but I could never really grasp hold of it tightly. I couldn't turn an idea into anything more than an idea. Then, today, at work we had an "All Hands Controller's Meeting" which is really just a plain old team meeting.  At the end of the PowerPoint presentation outlining our key performance indicators, there was a quote with a picture of Albert Einstein (genius):

"If you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough." - Albert Einstein

I have included a picture of young Albert Einstein because I get tired of seeing just one view of him: disheveled genius. He was young and dashing, as well as a super smarty, at one point.

oh la la

But I digress, a little. In any case, this was a great quote, and though I'm sure I was supposed to apply it to my job: How can I understand derivative valuation and analysis enough to explain it simply? Hmmm. I'm not ashamed to say I'm not there yet.  Every time someone asks me "what is a derivative?" I die a little inside. Not because I don't know, but rather because I can't tell you without using the words "underlying", "notional", and "net settlement" at which point your eyes have glazed over. And if I do tell you without those words, I run into the second quote in the PowerPoint: 

"Make things as simple as possible, but not simpler." - Albert Einstein

I have to say this quote actually blew my mind a little bit. It is an incredibly hard task to make something easier to understand, without removing the complexities or ignoring critical nuances. And that, my friends is the reason for my writer's block. I have wandered into territories (spiritually) where I don't know enough to carelessly toss it in the blog. And if I did know, and from what I think I know...I'm afraid of what I might be losing in the translation from my head/heart to the page!
 

Long story short, I'm worried about my lack of genius.

As I've said before, I'm on the Bible in One Year plan, and we just got around to the "genius" of biblical times: King Solomon. King Solomon comes to the throne as a "man of God" and there's this day where he offers 1000 sacrifices. And in response God says "Ask what you wish me to give you." I immediately stopped reading and thought: genie-in-a-bottle! Like, what do I want most? If I was in Solomon's situation...what would I say? Then I read on:

Now, O Lord my God, You have made Your servant king in place of my father David, yet I am but a little child; I do not know how to go out or come in. Your servant is in the midst of Your people which You have chosen, a great people who are too many to be numbered or counted. So give Your servant an understanding heart to judge Your people to discern between good and evil. For who is able to judge this great people of Yours?” - 1 Kings 3:7-9

To keep it real, I rolled my eyes. And immediately said to myself "It's EASY to ask for wisdom when you already have everything! You're king!" I wasn't impressed. 

But GOD was.

It was pleasing in the sight of the Lord that Solomon had asked this thing. God said to him, “Because you have asked this thing and have not asked for yourself long life, nor have asked riches for yourself, nor have you asked for the life of your enemies, but have asked for yourself discernment to understand justice, behold, I have done according to your words. - 1 Kings 3:10-12

...those were legitimate things he didn't ask for. See, my carnal mind went automatically to ways to discredit his righteousness, so I wouldn't be accountable to it. But, aside from his riches, he had no way of knowing how long he'd live. People with money always want more money, and as far as enemies? Those need to be eliminated. Especially in those days; that was real life Game of Thrones! But he didn't ask for any of that. He didn't ask for what would keep him in his position, but rather for what would make him do well in his position. 

So, I've been praying for wisdom lately. Which is a departure from my usual prayers:

"Dear Lord, where is my husband?...Dear Lord, I'm ready for a promotion at work...Dear Lord, Mega Millions?...Dear Lord, I have this doctor's appointment next week..."

Don't be deceived. The prayer for Wisdom hasn't replaced the others, but it is an add-on. But really, it's the biggest thing.

For if you cry for discernment...

If you seek her as silver

And search for her as for hidden treasures;

Then you will discern the fear of the Lord

And discover the knowledge of God.

For the Lord gives wisdom

- Proverbs 2:3-6 

Wisdom is at the bottom of a lot of values lists, when it should be searched for like a hidden treasure. But the real clincher is this: God gives wisdom!

But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him. - James 1:5

Wisdom, unlike everything else I pray for, is guaranteed. That's a downer to some people, because all the other stuff is SO important (and it's important to me as well). However, to pray for something and KNOW it is God's will for me to have it takes the really hard "faith" part out of it. I can get wisdom. And as my faith grows, I'll get other stuff too. But wisdom is an excellent, awesome, guaranteed starting point. 

I'm kind of geeked about it.  I might not be a genius...but, you'll see. The blog will get wiser. 

Summer of wisdom!