LENT: day 1

It's that time of year again. LENT! Ash Wednesday sort of snuck up on me. In my mind, Easter Sunday is always around April 5th or the 12th (though it can fall on any date between March 22nd and April 25th). However, it actually is on the 5th this year, so I'm not sure why this Ash Wednesday shocked me. It just did! I didn't know it was happening, so I had to think of a lenten sacrifice. Got it! Sorta... We'll see how it goes.

Part of my Lent plan is to go through a Bible Gateway reading plan: Daily Reading for Personal Growth, 40 Days with God.

And maybe...sometimes (not committing to every day) write a blog about it. The blog is useful in that, it forces me to do something my pastors goes on and on about: journaling. Except, this isn't as deep, personally intimate as journaling. But it's a decent proxy.

Today's reading came from Luke 18:10-14:

“Two men went up into the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee, standing by himself, prayed thus: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other men, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week; I give tithes of all that I get.’ But the tax collector, standing far off, would not even lift up his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, ‘God, be merciful to me, a sinner!’ I tell you, this man went down to his house justified, rather than the other. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but the one who humbles himself will be exalted.”

I thought this verse was rather apropos for Lent, because every Lent, I seek to become the humble tax collector (justified and accepted) through the "righteous" actions of the Pharisee, who is ultimately rejected. Generally, Lent is a time to beef up my moral performance, and call it my acceptable sacrifice to the Lord. 

I'm certain I'm not the only one who does this. Am I? Intentions are good though. So, I don't think anyone's Lenten fast/sacrifice is rejected. I just think at some point we have to realize who the sacrifice is for. Who is the fast for? And regardless of who you are, Pharisee or tax collector...it's for YOU. I think the difference is in knowing that. I think I didn't know that. 

Never give up. Never surrender.

I struggle against myself. If I say, "it's for me" I'll have another voice saying, "Noooo....it's for God! I'm doing this for God." But, I have to admit. God doesn't need the fast. I need the fast. I need to feel God-honoring. I need to feel good. I need to get closer to God. I need, I need.  And those were just my honorable needs. My less honorable needs are the other items I fast and pray for: future spouse, promotion at job, a house, an awesome vacation, Mega Millions, etc. I need, I need.  

The Pharisee didn't know he needed. He thought he had something to offer:  "...I fast twice a week; I give tithes of all that I get." Big whoop. What is that doing for God? If done correctly, those things should be creating something amazing in you. He's thanking God that he's not like other people. What made him special? He is, literally, commending himself to God. Feels awkward. 

Oh, you fasted?! AND prayed? Wow...

The tax collector knew he needed. He knew he had nothing to offer. He was in a situation where all he could do was gain. He gained what he asked for: mercy and justification, because he came with his palm facing up. The Pharisee came with his palm facing down. He came trying to give God something...and he left with what he came with: nothing that mattered.

I don't want to approach Lent like the Pharisee. I want to approach it like the tax collector. I'll spend the next 6 weeks trying to figure out what exactly that looks like.