You Gotta Cry Sometimes

Depending on the situation, I either hate or love crying.

When I love it: 

I truly saw this twice in theaters

1. At weddings - it means I'm sharing in your joy, and that everything I see is so beautiful it moves me to tears. 
2. At the birth of a baby - this has never happened, but I think that it could. I could see myself being emotionally blown away at the birth of my own child. 
3. At movies- It's both embarrassing & hilarious to realize you have wept watching How To Train Your Dragon.

When I hate it: 

1. All other times

That seems like a really short list, but truly, crying generally means something is wrong. And I want to live a life that is generally free of of the bad tears. What I hate the most, is when someone sees me cry the bad tears. It makes me feel so small, and weak, and insignificant. Which is what makes the next Beatitude (just like the first one) so hard to swallow:

“Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted." - Matthew 5:2

I'd much rather skip the comfort and just be okay. I'd rather never need the comfort. That's why I'm from the school of thought that the Beatitudes are progressive; that each one builds upon the previous. As I noted in "I've Got This," spiritually we come to the realization that we don't have anything, and that we are actually impoverished and in need of a charitable contribution. 

As such, this particular mourning (i.e. weeping, wailing, lamentation) is not related to the things of this world: financial loss, terminal illness, the death of loved ones, loneliness, divorce, rejection, etc. Rather, this mourning relates specifically to your spiritual brokenness and sin against the God who gave you everything. True repentance will lead you to tears. 

For example, King Josiah when he found the Book of the Law. You might be thinking "found?" The temple had been so abandoned for so long, that when Josiah re-instituted the service of the temple they rediscovered the Book of the Law while cleaning. Crazy.

Then Hilkiah the high priest said to Shaphan the scribe, “I have found the book of the law in the house of the Lord.” And Hilkiah gave the book to Shaphan who read it..And Shaphan read it in the presence of the king. When the king heard the words of the book of the law, he tore his clothes. Then the king commanded Hilkiah the priest...“Go, inquire of the Lord for me and the people and all Judah concerning the words of this book that has been found, for great is the wrath of the Lord that burns against us, because our fathers have not listened to the words of this book, to do according to all that is written concerning us.” - 2 Kings 22:8-13

I love this scripture, because I just imagine Josiah, sitting on his throne, thinking he is a great king and man of God (which he is). He's the one who removed all the altars to idols. He has ordered the repair and renovation of the temple. He should feel on top of the world; he should feel like someone who is really doing the work of the Lord. But then Shaphan appears with this lost book and starts reading it to him. In my mind, I see Josiah's face going from a smile, to a slight frown and furrowed brow, to his mouth hanging open in outright disbelief, and finally utter despair. He tore his clothes off. A king! A king tore his royal garments in reaction to his spiritual brokenness and sin against the God he loved. 

He sent the priests to inquire of the Lord, and they went to a prophetess named Huldah, and her response is amazing: 

She said to them, “Thus says the Lord God of Israel, ‘Tell the man who sent you to me, thus says the Lord, “Behold, I bring evil on this place and on its inhabitants, even all the words of the book which the king of Judah has read. Because they have forsaken Me...But to the king of Judah who sent you to inquire of the Lord thus shall you say to him, ‘Thus says the Lord God of Israel, “Regarding the words which you have heard, because your heart was tender and you humbled yourself before the Lord when you heard what I spoke...and you have torn your clothes and wept before Me, I truly have heard you,” declares the Lord. 2 Kings 22:15-19 

What David said in Psalms 51 is echoed again right here: a broken and a contrite heart, You [God] will not despise! Note what God didn't say to Josiah. He didn't say: because you took down the high places (this is the phrase for the hills and mountains where people sacrificed to idols). He didn't say: because you're renovating the temple. He didn't say: because you're so incredibly awesome. But it was because he was in mourning. It's because he was convicted of the evil that he, the people, and the ancestors had done. It broke him down. He tore his clothes, and he wept before the Lord. And it resulted in something we all want: to be heard by God.  

And that, that results in an explicable Joy. Joy is the fruit of the spirit that I have matched up with this Beatitude. Another extreme mismatch. Mourning and joy are pretty much opposites. But:

For the sorrow that is according to the will of God produces a repentance without regret, leading to salvation - 2 Corinthians 7:10

Strangely, the "right" kind of sorrow brings deliverance from...sorrow. Is that insane or what? Godly sorrow drives you to God.  So it begs the question: do you have joy? 

If not, you might want to examine what you're sad about and how you go about fixing it. Godly sorrow drives you to God, and God produces Joy. Worldly sorrows (which God can also fix) often drive us to attempt to fix everything ourselves ("I've got this" style). And in our pursuit of happiness, we find more despair. 

There is a way which seems right to a man, but its end is the way of death - Proverbs 14:12

Dang. Almost makes you wanna cry.