Overheard at Thanksgiving

Time with family is awesome. I'm very thankful for my family, but it's a time when crazy things are said and discussed, and below are some of the more memorable:

How do You Know When Babies are Growing?

Aunt #1: (while fussing over a hiccuping newborn) The hiccuping means they're growing!
Me: (blank and incredulous stare)
Aunt #1: (sheepishly)...well maybe it's a myth

How do You Know when Someone's Pie is Good?

Sister: Taste my Sweet Potato Pie!!! Please!!
Aunt P: I don't know...maybe just one bite
(we all watch her chew very very slowly)
Sister: How is it?!
Aunt P: It's...alright.
Sister: Aunt J, why don't you try some
Aunt J: I think I'll pass

I never tried that pie. I instead shamelessly smashed apple pie (my favorite) and pound cake. 

Elmo?

Sister: Elmo is like the most famous muppet.
Me: Elmo ain't no muppet.
Sister and Cousin: YES HE IS!
Me: Technically, no he isn't. Muppets are a trademarked term of the characters created by Jim Hensen. They are called "The Muppets."
Sister: KERMIT is a muppet!
Me: Yes. Yes, he is.
Sister: And he was on Sesame Street.
Me: No. No, he wasn't...unless as a cameo.

That argument went on for about 15 minutes. Upon further review, we found that Sesame Street uses the term "muppet" by permission of the Walt Disney Co.; however, they are not true muppets. That honor belongs to The Muppets and the Fraggles (the trash heap has spoken).


How to Become an Addict

Sister: HAHAHA! YES!!! WOO-HOO!!!
Me: What happened?
Sister: I just bought a $15 gift card for 1 cent!
Me: Huh? How?
Sister: Online auction
Me: I want to try...
(2 hours later)
Me: HAHAHAHA!!! YES!! WOO-HOO!!
Mom: What did you win?!
Me: A ring! A $44 ring for 1 cent!!
Mom: You don't wear jewelry...
Me: SO?! You gotta watch and pray, Mom...watch and pray!
(Later)
Mom: Well, I'm going to pick up the ingredients for a German Chocolate Cake...bye
Me: Pray for me.
Mom: what?
Me: I want the 60inch TV
Mom: ok...
Me: I'M NOT JOKING LADY!
Mom: In Jesus name, amen (and then she left)

I didn't feel like she was sincere. But I also noted that I might have developed a problem. Be that as it may, I also came away with a $25 gift card that also cost 1 cent (2.99 shipping and handling). It made for a long day at my computer...in pajamas. I felt like I was at the slot machines. Note: I've never played the slots.

When You Realize Something Within You has Died

Me: Look at Jhalil (3 years old). He's just playing by himself, making noises, scooting around. He's having so much fun.
Sister: Yep.
Me: I don't remember imagination being that fun.
Sister: That's because you don't have any imagination now.
Me: ...dang

Kids with Attitude

New Niece by Marriage: (unprovoked, walks up to declare) I don't like you.
Me: Ok. That's one less gift for me to buy. Thanks.
New NbM: What do you mean?
Me: It means I'm not getting you anything for Christmas.
New NbM: (panicked) WAIT! NO! I do like you...a little. I mean, I don't know you that well...but...
Me: (cutting her off) Too late. Peace.

Maybe something else will happen. I'm going to not one, but TWO church plays this weekend...so one can never know.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!