Lent day NINE - Perfection

I am a perfectionist.

"Excuse me...the clambake is canceled?!" (sob)

I'm not proud of it. I'm not sad about it. It's simply who I am. I like for things to be right. And when they aren't right...I go a little crazy. What comes to mind immediately, is my 30th birthday party. I had it all planned out, it was going to perfect. A private clambake thrown in the beautiful, sunny courtyard of a swanky New American restaurant in downtown D.C. But on the day of my birthday, it rained.

Like TORRENTIAL DOWNPOUR rained. My perfect day was now imperfect. The restaurant staff had moved the party into a wonderful private room, but it didn't matter. On my 30th birthday, at the point where I'm truly too old for this...I cried.

After all this, I calmed down, and really found the evening to be quite enjoyable. Even without being perfect.

Today's scripture is about perfection. And I have a couple of different ways of looking at it:

Not that I have already obtained it or have already become perfect, but I press on so that I may lay hold of that for which also I was laid hold of by Christ Jesus. Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Let us therefore, as many as are perfect, have this attitude; and if in anything you have a different attitude, God will reveal that also to you; however, let us keep living by that same standard to which we have attained. - Philippians 3:12-16

Perfect (adjective) - excellent or complete beyond practical or theoretical improvement; entirely without any flaws, defects, or shortcomings.

To be at a point, where I could apply that definition to myself...seems a little bit on the impossible side. And to think that I'm at a point where I could throw up my hands and say: "I'm perfect!" feels a lot on the insane side. This is a tricky scripture. Which I break down into 3 parts: 

I'm Not Perfect

I'm not perfect, Paul says...but he is running after perfection. He's running for perfect knowledge and perfect relationship, which would result in perfect performance. I'm not sure he's saying that this is attainable in our human bodies. I'd say he's definitely not saying that. But he's going for it. Why? Because it's offered. He says he's reaching out to the God who is reaching for Him. He is aligning his goal for his life with God's goal for his life. Odds of success just shot up. 

Forget the Past

Forgetting what lies behind is deep. Only the future matters. Tomorrow is gone. Blessings are new each morning, and then that day is gone. Everything good in it is over. And everything bad in it is over. Nothing from yesterday disqualifies. And nothing from yesterday was great enough to make it okay for you to stop running. We are in a relentless, daily, race for spiritual perfection. 

Change Your Attitude

Perfection comes in the search for perfection. Know this. And if you don't know this, you'll come to know it. You'll have an attitude of what many corporations calls "Continuous Learning." 

But that last piece. Keep living by that same standard to which we have attained. I love it. He's like...we're already there! Or at least already on the road. Just keep on it.

Run for the prize!

But for me, I don't know if I've ever been as choked up about spiritual imperfection as I have been about being rained out of my birthday party. I mean, I want to be perfect, but usually I shrug off morale mishaps like: "...grace." Which is totally real, but where is the mourning and the brokenness?! Sometimes I think I'm only a perfectionist for things I think can be perfect. The things I can control. 

But, in truth, I have never ever made a single thing perfect! If anything could be perfect...this is it! Because God has called me to it. If I was to ever chase perfection in any arena...it should be THIS one. 

I need to press.