Lent day 17: Living in Harmony

shot to the heart...

Have you ever been having an argument with someone, and they interject a piece of information that seems off-point, but is super harsh and damaging to your position? It's like: wait, what? Why did you bring that up?

That's how I feel about about today's reading. Today's reading contains a scripture inside a scripture. And it's kind of a shot to the heart:

To sum up, all of you be harmonious, sympathetic, brotherly, kindhearted, and humble in spirit; not returning evil for evil or insult for insult, but giving a blessing instead; for you were called for the very purpose that you might inherit a blessing. For,

“The one who desires life, to love and see good days,

Must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit.

“He must turn away from evil and do good;
He must seek peace and pursue it.

“For the eyes of the Lord are toward the righteous,
And His ears attend to their prayer,
But the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.”

 Who is there to harm you if you prove zealous for what is good? But even if you should suffer for the sake of righteousness, you are blessed. And do not fear their intimidation, and do not be troubled,  but sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts, always being ready to make a defense to everyone who asks you to give an account for the hope that is in you, yet with gentleness and reverence; and keep a good conscience so that in the thing in which you are slandered, those who revile your good behavior in Christ will be put to shame. For it is better, if God should will it so, that you suffer for doing what is right rather than for doing what is wrong. For Christ also died for sins once for all, the just for the unjust, so that He might bring us to God, having been put to death in the flesh, but made alive in the spirit;

- 1 Peter 3:8-18

There's a lot going on here. I think there is a lot in every scripture. I find this one particularly convicting, because I don't follow any of these instructions well. Not Peter's instructions. Not the psalmist's instructions. I'm a mess. But to break it down, this scripture has (in my lay opinion) two main points: 

POINT ONE: We Must be Relationship Focused - But focused in a way that cultivates and protects healthy/godly relationships. To be focused on the health of the relationship means you won't do anything to harm it. This requires a shift in attitude.  Paul says we have to be: 

• Harmonious - free from disagreement or dissent. This doesn't necessarily mean that I think the exact same way as you. But that we find a way to live with, appreciate, and respect other points of view (as long as they are not blatant heresy). It's incredible the things that we will allow to create discord. Secular music. Social drinking. Clothing. A lot of "touch not, taste not, handle not" stuff. That's for the church folks. But just in your basic romantic relationships, friendships, etc. it's good to look for balance/harmony. We don't have to sing the same note for it to sound good.
•  Sympathy - if you look up sympathy...the word "harmony" is in the definition. In this case, it's so cool because harmony is the simultaneous combination of different tones that are yet pleasing to the ear. Those different tones are not disagreeable when heard. But they are different. Sympathy is a harmony of emotions. I can't sing your exact tune. But I know that song. And I lend my voice to your sorrow. I join with you in your sadness because I get it. And I want to get. I think it's very deep. Sympathy is easy to avoid. Out of sight, out of mind. We could remove ourselves from the situation. Or immerse ourselves in something else. But we've been called to carry other people's burdens. And it's hard. But you do know the song. We have to be willing to sing...in order to cultivate and grow those healthy relationships.
• Brotherly/Kindhearted- "Blood is thicker than water" is a common saying. We all know that there is a way we treat family that is different than how we treat others. There is a greater desire to maintain those relationships (because they hurt the most when they shatter). What about the blood of Jesus? It's definitely thicker than water and it has been 1) applied to us, so we should apply all of it's blessings to everyone we meet, and 2) it connects us, in God's family so we should treat those of the household of faith like we share spiritual DNA. And then kindhearted means "sympathy" again, which means harmony, and what's more harmonious than a family? 

Every word in this was connected. Maybe because Peter was just driving home the same point: be connected. Stay connected. Don't let anything tear you apart, but always seek to be together. 

POINT TWO: Avoid the Behaviors that Destroy Relationships

Remember how I said I was convicted? It's because I like to think that I'm relationship-focused, but I still indulge in all the ridiculous behaviors that destroy relationships. Peter knows that people are prone to this. That we have a way of behaving that is counterproductive to the relationships that God intends us to produce. 

• Tit for Tat - This is age old. You hit me, I hit you back. You hurt me, I hurt you back. You don't talk to me for a day? Fine, you won't hear from me for a month. We have this way of trying to teach people not to hurt to us, that is so hurtful that it creates a cycle of hurt. It's not harmonious. It's not sympathetic. It's not brotherly, or kind. It's just...human. It's what we do. But, as I've saying before, God isn't look for us be just be human. We're called to more in Christ. Which is why "tit" is repaid with love. It's why our "tat" is compassion and forgiveness. It seems unnatural because it's supernatural.
• Deceit - Deception has so many derivatives. From downright lies, to white lies, exaggerations, tall tales, "stories," etc. But at the end of the day, if your relationships are based on misconceptions. And if you've purposely mislead someone to wrong determinations about who you are and how you feel...the relationship is doomed.

I heard in church yesterday: "it's easy to act like a Christian, but it's hard to react like Christian." Tit for tat, and lies in regards to being hurt, or in avoiding being hurt is (again) human behavior. Reactions are the true test, because they are usually automatic. They're instant. These are the behavior that happen when you haven't had time to think about it. And they get me all the time. All the time.

And this is where the interjection of the Psalm got me. I'm like, so...God doesn't hear my prayers? Why that extra piece? That's a heartbreaker right there. When I read that I go "argh!!" I think the "argh" matters. When I play tit for tat, or I deceive someone (for whatever reason)...I feel like trash. And I immediately ask for forgiveness. I'm requesting from God what I want from others. I want to be pulled back into harmony. I want sympathy. I want kindness.

And I believe it is given.

So, I'd better pay it forward.