"I wish I could go back to being 25."
Then I pause, and say: "...knowing what I know now, of course." And the other person nods their assent, "of course, of course." Why is it that we can only go back like that? Why wouldn't anyone want to go back clueless? Because then it would likely just be a repeat of the same old crap, a re-take of the same tests. You'd have to rebuild that valuable knowledge.
Sometimes, I fear I'm in a cycle of "the same old crap" because I'm refusing to gain the valuable knowledge that comes through a completed experience. In one of my old blogs, Run Without Stopping, I wrote about how I couldn't run long distances. I didn't know how to break the cycle of run, walk, run, walk. In that blog, I was so psyched to report that I could run 3 miles without stopping! I started so small, but it taught me a huge lesson about endurance. It taught me about pushing through discomfort, pain, and fatigue to build greater strength. To build greater ability.
That blog is three years old. So, three years ago, I was a start-and-stop runner. Today I've run three marathons. My body has been tested. And it has passed. There were definitely times when I thought I couldn't make it, but all those training runs prepared me. All those times I was doubled over on the side of the road prepared me. All the times I had to call somebody to pick me up, because I'd run too far and didn't have the strength to run back prepared me. All the injuries, the heating pads, the ice packs, the chaffing, and the toenails that fell off...and the one that may never come back? They all prepared me. To me, all that preparation had a perfect result: finisher medals.
Which brings me to today's scripture which is James 1:1-12, but I'm focusing on:
Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.
- James 1:2-4
Before I embark on this, I want to say: I hate running analogies. So if you hate them too, I'm so sorry. But it's just my real world experience, so I have nothing else that's comparable.
Consider it All Joy
I've always thought this was a ridiculous thing to say. The first part of the scripture (in v.1) says that's to the 12 tribes who have been scattered abroad. So, this is written to Christian Jews who have been exiled and scattered. People who have fled persecution, and yet still encounter persecution. And James says: look at it as a good thing when all this bad things happen, testing your faith.
No. Bad things are bad. But he doesn't mean good as in "this is awesome" but rather as in "this is profitable" and "this is productive" in ways you can't see immediately. I remember when I first started running, I found ways to "count it all joy." I would imagine myself winning the race (which was impossible). I would run and imagine all these amazing things happening to me on the race day: like reporters interviewing me, asking me how I did it. I imagined myself crossing the finish line. Sometimes I just imagined myself being able to go home and update my FB status to say: 14 miles. I knew the training (though horrible) was getting me somewhere. It was profitable. It was productive.
Even right now, I have a hard time doing that with trials. I have a hard time praying all the way through. I have a hard time believing all the way through. I often have "start-and-stop faith." And so, I think sometimes I have to repeat the same old crap. I have to keep re-building my strength to simply run 3 spiritual miles, and so I'm not quite trained up for the marathon. It's really difficult, because I don't know what my finish line is. I don't know exactly what the result is. But I want to start looking at every prayer session, at every fast, at every quiet time as a training run. Full of possibility and imagination. I need to start imagining my prayers answered in a hundred different ways. I need to start dreaming up divine appointments. And start mentally updated my prayer status as: prayed without ceasing? Nope, but close. And that way, even when my prayer time feels so desperate and painful that I want to stop, I'll know and believe that it's getting me somewhere.
And if we know that he hears us--whatever we ask--we know that we have what we asked of him.
- 1 John 5:15
So even unanswered prayers. Even tearful exchanges are profitable. Productive.Let Endurance Have its Perfect Result
I've never noticed this wording. Let endurance have it's perfect result. It implies that if we give up we have imperfect results. Endurance has a perfect result and what I love is that the result is YOU. This is like (clearly) a much bigger deal than getting a medal around my neck, or hitting a new personal record for time. The result is that YOU are perfect and complete, lacking nothing.
I'm not sure what it means, but I think after I've pushed through life's discomfort, pain, and fatigue, I'll come out of with stronger faith, and that faith will have greater ability. And that makes all the discomfort/pain/fatigue worth enduring, because I'm sick of imperfect results.
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