The Great Poke Experiment

I may be the most bored person on this planet. Despite the fact that I went to dinner and bowling, drove to Wilmington, DE and back, and then rocked it out at a Lykke Li concert this weekend, I came home  to boredom on Sunday night. And so I did what most bored people do: FACEBOOK.

Then, my roommate asked me to poke her.

--PAUSE-- What is a poke? 

The poke feature is intended to be a "nudge" to attract the attention of another user. Many Facebook users use this feature to attract attention or say "hello" to their friends. --UNPAUSE--

My roommate wanted to see where the poke showed up on her page and if she would notice it. So I poked. "The poke is nothing" she said. I see her point, the poke is small and unobtrusive...nothing to write home about. So I said:

"Well, what if I poked all my friends on facebook?"

It seemed funny at the time, but I quickly discovered that this is a time-consuming undertaking. Crazy time-consuming. So much so, that I gave up.

So I randomly* poked 130 friends, and I must say, these are the following emotions I felt:

*It wasn't actually random, I just went in alphabetical order and gave up at a certain point.

1. Fear - Will people think I'm a weirdo? Will people be like: "Who is Kristen?" and de-friend me?! I PROMISE, we met at least ONCE!!!
2. Amusement - Some of the people I'm poking...I have NO business poking. And it's funny. Haha funny. But yet, sad boo-hoo  funny (ex-boyfriends, married people, girls that I had a falling out with, members of the clergy...smh)
3. Incredulity - I can't believe some of these people friended me in the first place! We haven't seen each other in like a decade.I also encountered the "this person has not responded to your last poke"notification. Wow! I haven't poked someone in ages. That means, that person is not on facebook any longer. An abandoned facebook page identified!

But, of all these, I mostly feel the fear. Do these people think I'm a nut-job? So with all experiments, there is a waiting period. I waited 3 days to see if anything would come of my "massive" poking experiment. This is what I expected:

• To lose a few friends. I started the experiment with 370.
• To get about 20% poke-backs, b/c some of those people are peeps that I'm decent friends with
• To get a large amount of ignores (like it never happened)
• And a few outliers. People who respond with a wall post or private message asking me questions about my life and/or about why I poked them.

What really happened is presented graphically below:

I won't lie, the results are a little...underwhelming. To summarize these findings, out of 130 friends, only 32 responded. 3 Responded with a DEFRIEND! Ouch! 2 people actually wrote me a little something in regards to the poke, in addition to joining 27 others in a friendly poke back. Ultimately, all my fears and worries were unfounded, as my roommate was correct:

The Poke is Nothing. 

I shall contact Mark Zuckerberg immediately so he can rid the site of this pointless feature.

Skinny Jeans...I hate you!

I just came to this realization about 2 minutes ago: I hate skinny jeans. I didn't know it because they are so cute, and I feel cutesy when I'm wearing them...but, truth be told: they suck.

I have several pairs of jeans, but only 3 pair that I really like and wear as if they were the only articles of clothing in the world: 3 pairs of skinny jeans. A black pair, a dark blue jean pair, and a gray/white stonewashed looking pair.

I know what you might be thinking: You wear the same 3 jeans over and over again? Yes...I really do. It's not really that frequent, because there are only 2 days a week when I can actually wear jeans: Friday and Saturday. Monday-Thursday is business casual--Yay Work!--and Sunday is church attire. Also, if I don't make it out on Friday/Saturday nights, I'm wearing sweats...so they don't get THAT much play. In any case, I've been wearing skinny jeans exclusively for about 18 months, so that I FORGOT what comfort was., until just a few minutes ago.

So, the jeans I wanted to wear today are dirty, and are currently spinning in the wash. In the meantime, I put on some regular jeans. In fact, it was my old favorite pair of jeans, long abandoned in the back of a dresser drawer. And they slid on like butter, and the softness of the fabric greeted my buttocks in a lazy "hello" of non-stretch cotton. It was awesome. It was...like...joy. And in that moment, my life with these jeans flashed before my eyes. These jeans, a white tee, and flip flops running across white sand beaches, jumping out of airplanes, hiking the black hills of South Dakota... okay, the jeans and I didn't experience all of that, but there were good times, and it was like an anthem! Like a clothing anthem of "chill." Chillness that has been long silenced by the fast and sleek fashion trend called "skinny jeans."

But I want you to think about "when."

Like, when was the last time you put on a pair of jeans w/o having to jump up and down a little bit?
When was the last time you took off a pair of jeans without having to peel them off your calves?
When was the last time you wore jeans with sneakers...don't jeans go with sneakers?!*

I'm not the type to go retro. I'll keep with the trend; but I await the day when it's over and comfort is back in style.

*I will admit that certain shoes like Chucks go very well with skinny jeans. However, legit white Nikes, or any old school tennis shoe is out of the question.

That Chick is Desperate

We spend a lot of time labeling people as desperate, or worrying that we come off as desperate, but...what is desperation really?

Let's first define:

Desperate -

1. reckless or dangerous because of despair  or urgency
2. having an urgent need, desire, etc.
3. leaving little or no hope; very serious or dangerous

So here we have it. An adjective that seems (in my opinion) to define the motivation(s) behind certain behaviors: Despair and a sense of urgency stemming from a state of hopelessness. WOW.  

I got to thinking about desperation, b/c a friend and I had this discussion: Is it okay for a girl to make the first move? Should single women sit around passively waiting for men to ask them out, or is it okay to make that initial show of interest. I'm not saying chase him down. I'm not saying spam his e-mail, blow up his phone with texts...none of that. That is ruled out. However, I can't be so certain about what is ruled IN. What is acceptable? Where is the line between bravery and desperation. Ooohhh, bravery, what a novel idea! Let's define: 

Brave - 

1. possessing or exhibiting courage or courageous endurance.
2. to defy; challenge; dare.

 I really like the second definition in this. A girl who puts herself out there, is defying the norm. Challenging the societal belief that she should sit passively by, waiting for her prince to come. But what about the people who come, who are NOT your prince?! Why should we sit idly by entertaining guys we don't like, when the guys we DO like are available and in our line of sight? Why not dare to send them a facebook message versus waiting for him to ask you to dinner? 

Or is such an FB message "desperate?" Hey...is there NOTHING attractive about a woman who takes control of her situation? Who says: passivity isn't working. A person who changes tactic, is not the same as one who gives in to desperation. Desperation in itself is hopelessness. Daring to change course, is an act of hope in itself. Just my opinion. Ultimately, it's more fun to be courageous, daring than it is to just wait around. 

Thoughts?

 

 

 

Blog Catch-Up

Sometimes I'm deterred from blogging, because I can't think of anything funny. Life is inspiration, and my life...sometimes isn't that interesting. Or something interesting will happen, but I feel like I can't post it b/c it involves more than me. Of course, I could change names to protect the innocent, but people can still pretty much figure it out (if they live in Northern Virginia).

So here I am, almost 30 days from my last blog, with no material. So how about...


I'M TAKING SWIMMING LESSONS!!

I've told you before that I can't swim. Well, I'm trying to remedy this wrong. I've taken two lessons so far...and I guess I like it. What I don't like: The Locker Room.

There are people who are far too content to be naked in there. Hurry up and put clothes on! Why are you just chilling out in the buff? I mean...there are children running around! However, they are not perturbed. They are fascinated. I'm fascinated too:

1. Enter locker room - You're naked
2. Put my swim cap, goggles in locker and retrieve body wash and towel, turn around - Yep, you're naked
3. Walking to shower - You're still naked
4. Coming back from shower - Just as naked
5. Change clothes turn around - Sigh, you're naked

I think that's weird.

OSAMA BIN LADEN IS DEAD!

He is?!! I guess I could write about that, but...eh...it's been done. I'm almost tired of hearing about it. I could sit here and spin conspiracy theories. I could quote Proverbs 24:17, or in contrast, talk about how giddy I am that OBL is no more. However, I find the whole discussion on that to be dehumanizing. For me, and for OBL. So, for me, it is already a historical occurrence. A significant occurrence? Yes. But history nonetheless. Prior to deciding to put this issue in the past, I was watching clips of families affected by 9/11 (crying at my desk, waxing patriotic, filling myself up with hatred). But where would that hatred go? Osama is dead, so it's wasted on him. And even if he were alive, is that how I want to spend any part of my life? Hating another person (who neither knows or cares about my hatred)? No. I attached this poem, b/c it kind of sums up how I want to spend my time on this Earth:

I had no time to hate, because
The grave would hinder me,
And life was not so ample I
Could finish enmity.

Nor had I time to love, but since
Some industry must be,
The little toil of love, I thought,
Was large enough for me.

--Emily Dickinson

WILLIAM & KATE GOT MARRIED!

Is that so? Well, I'll admit I couldn't quite drag myself out of bed at 4am to see the nuptials, but I caught some streaming video throughout the day. It was nice. I really enjoyed Kate's dress. Am I the only who thought it strange that her name is Catherine (with a "C")? Why not "Cate" (a la Blanchett)? Quirky. My only real question is this: why didn't they get married when Prince William was HOTT?! They waited until he was bald and shiny...But he's rich, famous, and clearly in love. You can't knock that.

I still wonder what made it all so interesting. Why do young girls all over the world get up, stay up, take off work to watch Kate marry William?

MAY SWEEPS

This is that magical time of year when all of our favorite TV shows build to an excruciating crescendo of action and drama, to leave us begging for more come September. It is also the time right before awesome summer seasons are ushered in to offer us comfy, housebound escapes from beaches, beer gardens, lake houses, and the like (The Closer, Drop Dead Diva, anything on USA Network...). The finales I will be watching this year:

The Good Wife: What will happen when Alicia confronts Kalinda? Is Peter the enemy now...has he always been the enemy? I'm excited.

The Event: Will our disparate and scattered group of heroes band together to stop the aliens from committing genocide against the inhabitants of Earth? I'm excited.

Greys Anatomy: Can they even attempt to top last years crazed gunman episode? I'm not excited.
Private Practice: Will Charlotte and Cooper make it down the aisle? Will Sam and Addison reconcile? Where is Naomi?!! Do the writers even care about this show anymore? I'm not excited.

House: Are there any predictions? All the characters are liars and and active participants in the ruination of their own lives. Cuddy is the culprit in her own bitterness/loneliness. House is a culprit in his own bitterness/loneliness. Same for all members of House's staff--regarding the bitterness and loneliness. I give 13 a pass given her horrible circumstances. Sigh, I'm not excited.

Is there anything good on?!

Okay, I'll get back to a regular blogging schedule this month, since I'm going to be getting out a little. Going to Columbus, OH...perhaps to Chicago. Will hit up a concert this month. Excitement.

Oh! I saw Peter, Bjorn, and John in concert last week, and found them to be awesome. Check them out if you've never heard of them:



This is old, but I really liked it at the concert. New album is called Gimme Some. Worthy.

LENT PART TWO: Inconvenience

Again,  I’m not Catholic. So if a person keeps Lent…great! If a person doesn’t observe Lent…who cares? However, if a person makes a commitment to Lent, I believe they should be faithful to it. That being said, I think we all have either been, or encountered “Lent breakers”: people who start, and then quit their Lenten sacrifice. Why does this happen?! There are some solid possibilities: laziness, forgetfulness, etc. But I think the point where the fish Friday REALLY hits the fan is at the point of inconvenience. 

Inconvenient - inopportune, untimely; not suiting one's need or purpose. 

There comes a point when the sacrifice you make starts to feel “inconvenient.” When you consider ceasing your abstinence from chocolate, Facebook, meat, ice cream, alcohol, etc., simply because you WANT those things, or because you will be in a situation where having those things would enhance the good times. For example:

Scenario 1: I gave up alcohol BUT there is a party this weekend! Maybe I’ll just have one drink, and then restart on Monday…

Scenario 2: I gave up Facebook, BUT I met this really cute guy last night, and he said he’d look me up on FB! What if I have a friend request and cool message waiting?!!

These are serious dilemmas…

In my opinion, up until this “inconvenient” moment…the sacrifice is not sacrificial. What do I mean?

Sacrifice - the surrender or destruction of something prized or desirable for the sake of something considered as having a higher or more pressing claim.

In the case of Lent, the thing surrendered/destroyed is Facebook, meat, ice cream, blah, blah, blah…but the higher and more pressing claim is the sake of Christ. Right? 

Someone please correct me if I am mistaken on the meaning of Lent. Maybe it has nothing to do with Christ. You tell me.

So, if I quit Lent, for reasons X, Y, or Z…then X, Y, or Z was actually the higher or more pressing claim, and it was my praise/worship that I surrendered or destroyed (i.e. sacrificed). Let that marinate for a moment.

… (Simulated moment)

That means you pulled a reverse-sacrifice!. AHHHH!!! Totally unintended!

I then started to think of this on a much bigger scale--you know--the Romans 12:1 scale:

I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service.

I have not broken my Lent commitment, but I will admit that yesterday it was in real jeopardy, which partially brought on this blog.  Yet, I worry.  If I fumble at the small stuff, how then am I faring with the doozies?

My Life. My Body. Broken Spirit. Contrite Heart.

Paul wrote the epistle of Romans to believers (check Romans 1:7-8), but yet later, he had to beg them to present their bodies a living sacrifice. So…it’s not something that comes automatically. It’s something I have to pray through. It's yet another work that Christ has to do in me, by His grace. Because even though we have been beseeched...

Now unto him that is able to keep you from falling, and to present you faultless before the presence of his glory with exceeding joy, to the only wise God our Saviour, be glory and majesty, dominion and power, both now and ever. Amen. - Jude 1:24-25

Good thing there are TWO presentations: Mine, and God's.

Snip, Snip, OH SNAP! Part Deux

For those who were readers of my blog back in the day...I am a chicken when it comes to haircuts (see Snip, Snip, Oh Snap!). For this reason, I was shocked at my decision to go ahead and let the hair go. All of it. Gone. Sayonara Hair!

I thought that I would feel mad regret, and spend the next 12 - 24 months choking down hair vitamins, and praying for new hairs. But surprisingly, this has not happened...yet. Admittedly there are some drawbacks to short hair, and I want to innumerate them for people who are considering the change:

1. It costs more money in the long term - Hair appointments are now every TWO weeks, when they used to be every 8 weeks. The cost of the appointment is less, but due to the increased frequency...$$$ is flying out the door. Also, there are more intermediate appointments. If you have a date, or you're going to an event that doesn't fall on your 2 week cycle, odds are you're going into the salon to spend additional dollah dollah bills.
2. It's a LOT of work - Believe me: you've never slept this "cute" before. Let me define this phrase for you. "Sleeping cute" is when you lay your head on the pillow in such a way that your hair NEVER touches the pillow. It's very difficult, especially once you fall asleep... In any case, I've been wrapping it up the way the hairdresser told me, and sleeping as cute as possible. However, in the morning: HAVOC. It takes some getting used to.
3. Versatility is DEAD- No more ponytails, no more combing over "in-need-of-a-relaxer" areas. You are at the mercy of the night. Did your "sleep cute" work or didn't it?
4. Fear that it will further derail your defunct love life- As mentioned in the original Snip, Snip, OH SNAP! I have been told that my butt and my hair are my best features. So, in letting one go completely, there is a fear that it's time to trade in my heels for a fanny pack, light blue sweats, and all-white Asics, because I'se be a spinster now. Irrational? Rational? Only time will tell.

However, there are some definite pros:

1. You learn acceptance - Since versatility is dead, there is only so much you can do. While I used to toil in the mirror for countless minutes, making myself late for work because I need my hair to "lay" just so...now I just run my fingers through it, put some mousse on the side burns and roll. Because that's ALL I CAN DO. Sometimes, I think I can do more...there is a price for such thoughts: a bad hair day. So it's a harsh lesson, but short hair grants you the serenity to accept the things you cannot change. It's like AA but without the alcohol addiction.
2. Spikes are now an option - Spikes are edgy. I'm not edgy. I'm actually very close to "nerd" but with spikes a new door is open. Once you've moussed it up, thrown on some sunglasses and an army-inspired jacket...you seem cool. It's great.
3. Forces you to step up everything else - Hair hides a multitude of sins. Now...I have to address those. I'll admit, I had let my ear piercings close up, I was a minimalist when it came to make-up, and I abhorred contact lenses. Now earrings, make-up and contact lenses are the staples of my "going out" look (my work look remains glasses, tinted moisturizer, and a random cardigan). And currently I'm thinking: I want to buy new clothes! Short hair makes you want to show off your femininity in other ways, and that creates fun shopping and makeover opportunities.
4. More compliments (so maybe the fear is irrational?) - I've been getting a lot of compliments on the new hairdo, even on days when I'm pretty sure I look like a raggamuffin (definition #2 is more concise). And my roommate routinely tells me I look hot. If she's not careful, that can materialize into a Girl Crush (j/k)

In general though, for ME, it was the right choice. How long will I keep this style? I don't know. But I'm proud to know I'm not somewhere crying my eyes out over lost tresses. Holla!

Our Friendship is Over! The Sequel

“Friendship. Two people choose each other through some mysterious mix of alchemine* circumstances. On the surface, the reason for our choice seems obvious: they share our interests , they make us laugh, but is there more to it than that? And do we ever stop to wonder: why this person and not another?” – Erica Strange

Note 1: I think she meant alchemistic. Alchemine isn’t a word.

 

So, if you haven't watched the first installment of our friendship is over, please do so before checking this one out. It can be found here. 

“Friendship. It begins when two people choose each other. But what happens when we outgrow the choice. When little by little, our paths diverge, our needs change, and one day we wake up and realize we need to choose something different." - Erica Strange

As  usual, part serious/part joke.