Black Beauty...and I'm not talkin' about a horse!

It's Halloweekend. So, in order to look semi-decent in my costume, it was imperative that I get my hair done. Since I am a procrastinator, instead of getting my hair done last week, on a Saturday or Sunday morning, I waited until Friday night. Friday night is when people, desperate to look cute for the weekend, flock to the salon trying to get "squeezed in" to what are already ridiculously over-penciled appointment books. So I journeyed out to Oxon Hill, MD after work for what turned out to be a harrowing experience.

This is one of the most difficult blogs to write, because I don't want to diss black culture. Not at all. But every black chick knows there are some things we have learned to accept:

1. You Will Wait

What time is your appointment? It doesn't even matter. If your appointment is any time after 11:30 am, you can bet that 45 min to an hour will elapse from the time you walk in the door to when you are seated in the beauticians chair. Yesterday, I was at fault. I came late (though I called ahead). So, I walked in the door at 7:00 pm, sat in the chair at 8:30 pm.

Caveat: What is especially egregious about this particular visit, was that there weren't even any magazines for me to read. I mean, come on! That's the staple of waiting areas worldwide. I feel like the black hair salon should be overflowing with back issues of Essence, Ebony/Jet, and Black Enterprise. But no, I had to sit there and just play with my phone.

2. You WILL Be Solicited

You want purses? They got purses! You want perfumes? They got all the smell goods you NEED! Is it raining outside? They will sell you an umbrella! Is it sunny outside? They will sell you an umbrella! But last night...it was taken to a new level. All the above were in play (minus the perfumes--this time...), but there was one salesman who had wares of a different type:


Salesman: I have flatirons. Top of the line flatirons. $80.
Chick getting her hair done: $80?!!
Saleseman: These are $140 in the stores!
Beautician (sounding tired): I've got all the flatirons I need.
Salesman starts to walk away in defeat...
Chick getting her hair done: ...$45?!
Salesman doesn't even look back.

Then he returns 10 minutes later with--are you ready for this--a wood floor panel.

Imagine you're sitting in the waiting area, and BOOM, a long wood panel starts coming through the door. This dude tried to sell FLOORING at the beauty salon. I think (maybe) I've seen it all. Needless to say, no one bought flooring at this time.

3. You Will Hear Crazy Conversations

There is no telling what you will overhear at the beauty salon. This is why headphones are really smart, and why engrossing magazines are a MUST. In any case, you may hear one-side of the conversation that your beautician is having on the phone. While doing your hair. With a Bluetooth in. These convos range from booking appointments to chatting with their boyfriend. The latter of which I find super annoying...because I am a single. But I digress.

Last night's crazy conversation though, was super awkward. I had to witness and endure the bullying of Shampoo Girl (who literally goes by the name "Shampoo Girl"). For those who don't know, a shampoo girl is a kid, between the ages of say 17 and 19, whose job it is to shampoo hair. This job usually goes to a cosmetology student...but I can't be certain in this particular case. Anyway, I listened to Shampoo Girl get berated for like a solid hour. She was repeatedly referred to as "Mongoloid." I don't know what this means, so...dictionary.com

Mongoloid - adj. relating to or characterized by Down's syndrome

...I just looked that up, and now I'm mad. I mean, that's just plain rude, and all around INCORRECT. Super uncool. Even not knowing what that meant exactly, I felt like the situation was getting out of hand. You can crack on someone a little. But there is a point when enough is enough. I had to surmise that they didn't like Shampoo Girl.

I get all of the above for $85+tip. Talk about a bargain. A friend told me of a black hair salon on the ground floor of her apartment building. This friend lives in WALKING DISTANCE of my house. So, just on the basis of convenience alone, I have to try this. I trek out to Oxon Hill, MD because I'm desperate. When I move to a new town...a hairdresser is amongst the first things I try to find.

Now, the following was not representative of my experience at the salon. But I LOVE it. It's too hilarious to not have more views (my only gripe: one curse word. I hate cursing): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KowVSOjDKtU

Good night cruel world!

No Hiking, No Jumping off Cliffs. So...I Don't Need a Parachute

I'm supposed to go hiking today. However, my knee has sustained an overuse injury. Upon going to the doctor for a green light on the hike, I was given a yellow:

"A hike?! Sure, you can go...but it'll hurt." :'(

Brooke's guest comment: "we are really going to miss kristen today. like, we'll be hiking, but i'll really be crying more than walking."

Yes, that means Brooke and all the hikers are starting to mill around my house--I was the meeting location.  They're already having fun WITHOUT me (weeping). This looks like a really cool group. I'm missing out. Maybe it's worth banging up my knee some more...no.

Okay, enough sadness.
-----------

So on Thursday I saw my ultimate Girl Crush in concert: INGRID MICHAELSON! I must say, it made my life. I mean, the experience was the perfect amount of drama and awesomeness and it begins with:

Cab Ride of Doom

So I leave work at 5:15 to catch 6:00 doors for the concert. As a city girl (I've lived in big cities: Chicago/DC for the past 4 years) I have never quite gotten the hang of how to manage a cab driver. For shame. They always offer you options that you can't really pick between:

Cab driver: So do you want to take 18th or 12th?
As a city girl, I know this is a dirty TRICK. One way equals more fare for him. The other way equals reduced fare and happiness for me. The game is on! Usually I ask "which way is fastest?" but I always think they're lying to get more fare. So since the concert venue is at 8th and V, I think that logically 12th is closer and say "Take 12th."

35 MINUTES LATER we are at 12th and I St. (many letters from V) and I'm concerned.

Me: Is there a faster way?! (desperation creeps into my voice)
Cab driver: (With fake apologetic tone) We should have taken 18th...it would have been faster. But now, we just have to wait. 
...
Cabbie for the win.

However, I still arrived at 6:04 where my friend, Marie, was holding down our spot in the line that stretched around 9th street for a SOLD OUT concert. Anxiety down.

The Balcony

We weren't the FIRST people to walk into the show, and given our statures (both very short), there was no sense in standing on the floor. Taller people would simply obstruct our view. So we looked up and BEHOLD the balcony was barren. So we go up there and block off our spots right against the railing: perfect view.

But oh no...we're thirsty. And oh no...we have to use the bathroom. The concert vultures are circling...waiting for the opportunity to steal our gravy position. Vultures who came at 645 and expect to just amble up the railing for a spot that others waited in line hours ago to secure. We took note of a kindred spirit next to us, and made a pact to hold down our entire area. So Marie goes to the restroom, and IMMEDIATELY two people tried to roll up. I was like "hey, this is my friends spot...she JUST went to the restroom." So I had to spread myself out a little to hold both spots. Then two people came up to threaten Kindred who was holding it down for her husband. She politely told these girls there was "no room for them."

Girl: There's nobody standing here so there's plenty of room.
Kindred: I told you my husband is getting food and drinks, so this spot is taken. 
Girl: I mean, you can't just block off this space. 
Kindred: I came early, and stood in the line to get this space. My husband is just getting food and drinks. And you're right there's TONS of room, just not in the front.

Boo yah! Girls had to step. Now had this been a rap concert, people might've had to throw down (Note: throw down = fight). But because this is Ingrid Michaelson, who sings about everybody just wanting to be loved, violence was improbable.

Concert

This concert was really late starting, but ultimately excellent. I cried at her cover of R.E.M. "Nightswimming." I cheered for her new songs: "Parachute" and "Annihilate." And I rocked out on her heavy metal version of "The Way I Am." Ingrid is truly awesome. She's funny, she always wears her glasses...we're like...solid. She's my fantasy BFF.

Ingrid quote of the year: "This song is shiny and happy. It's like care bears pooping skittles onto Strawberry Shortcake's bonnet...while drinking tang on a flower."

I loved the concert so much, and was so freaked out that I cried that I wrote a poem...the title needs work:

Ode to Ingrid

Totally captivated by the beauty of your voice,

Melody so pure and perfect, a teardrop had no choice

But to make its way to the edge of my eyelids,

It ran down to the corner and slid…down the curve of my face

A testimony to my basking in the melodic grace of your tunes

Even the hardest heart isn’t immune…I need a music vaccination

To curtail the symptoms of my fascination with your songs.

Peace!!

Waiting for What?

Every month I have fewer and fewer posts. I post more when I'm unhappy. It's kind of like how Mary J. Blige's BEST work is from when she was being cheated on and quite possibly...beaten. The music was awesome when her life was in shambles. Likewise, when my dating life was ridiculous, and my health was failing my blog soared, but now...

To summarize I am: (1) listless, (2) feeling directionless at the moment, and (3) not all that upset about it. It's a kind of dangerous complacence.

And it's not just my blog. It feels like my whole life is in a holding pattern, as if I am waiting for something to happen. Something to inspire me, something to change me...What am I waiting for? Is waiting always OK? When is waiting wrong?

Well, there are two situations that I think can be used to (potentially) answer these questions. Both situations deal with WAITING ON THE LORD.

Waiting on the Lord when:

There's Nothing More You Can Do

2 Chronicles 20 - This is a classic Bible story (well...they're ALL pretty classic, given how old they are, but this one is POPULAR).

Background: King Jeoshaphat is about to be attacked (and most definitely rocked) by a LOT of soldiers, far more than he and the Israeli army can defeat. The situation looks super bleak. There's really nothing he can do, except seek God's help (2 Chronicles 20: 3-4)

Once King J has gathered all the people together who are unified in their worship, he spits out an AMAZING prayer. I call it "The Prayer of Expectation." I posted another blog today about expectations, and it relates to the fact that we can wrongly expect certain behavior out of people who are not emotionally/mentally wired to meet our expectation. Thanks be to God, we don't have that problem with Him. The Lord has set precedents of His power and love, which we can draw on to fuel our expectations of him. See 2 Chronicles 20:5-12 for the whole prayer. My concentration is on verse 12 and 13:

"...For we have no power to face this vast army that is attacking us. We do not know what to do, but our eyes are upon you."

This is a hardcore declaration of faith and trust in the Lord. He's saying: "We've got nothing. We're looking to you to deliver us." He puts 100% of the responsibility for his and the people's deliverance on the Lord. This is what it means to "Give it to God." In my opinion. Waiting like this is A-OK.

The rest of the story: God honored King J's prayer and caused confusion and craziness in the enemy camp. They all turned on each other and killed each other. The Israelites never had to lift a finger to fight.


There's Something You Can Do

Background: Jesus has just departed for Heaven. He basically told the disciples not to leave Jerusalem but wait there for the Holy Spirit, which would give them power to fulfill the mission He set out for them.

Acts 1:9-11

Jesus left and the disciples were there just standing around, gazing into heaven. And the two men (most likely angels, based on their choice of outfit), let them know that Jesus is coming back the same way He left: suddenly and without warning. You don't want to spend the wait time standing around.

The disciples surely didn't stand around; they immediately started setting up their ministry. First order of business: replacing Judas Iscariot. They held regular church meetings, which is why they were all together in the Upper Room when the Holy Spirit fell upon them.

So now we, also, wait. Wait for the coming of the Lord, but we can't just stand around gazing up into heaven...waiting for Christ to crack the cloud. We have to be about our Father's business. What does He want YOU to do? Got me! I'm still not sure what He wants ME to do (specifically--I know in general, see What's My Purpose). Maybe the more I pray about it...the more I blog about it, the sooner clarity will come.


Thoughts?


Well for the blog I have to just TYPE (regardless of my complacence).
And for the rest of my life...my eyes are upon the Lord.

Great Expectations: The Source of Fighting

"A hidden issue can't get triggered unless an expectation is violated." --random website


Expectations lead to violations, violations to disappointment, disappointment to fights. I HATE fights!

Some focus on the disappointment in friendships/relationships stemming from unreasonable expectations, but I think that's false. Expectations, separated from the person you have set them upon, cannot be unreasonable. I think it is rather an issue of misplaced expectations; placing our expectations on the wrong people. Not people who are wrong but who are rather, wrong for us and wrong for what we expect. These are people with different perceptions and worldviews. For example: If two people fall in love with each other, but have a different definition of what love is, what it looks like, what it feels like, etc. they will both experience grave disappointment. Neither one is wrong about love. It's just that their version of love is not what the other person expected.


Side Note: But what do you do about that "love" part? Even when it doesn't meet expectations, you still feel it. If it's a romantic relationship, I guess you have to decide if you want more. Either kick that person to the curb or settle for disappointment. With friendships, I think you can either alter your expectations to meet theirs, just to maintain the association. However, if you need more out of your friendships...I think you have to look for someone else to be your primary friend. Someone who has the same expectation of a friendship. That way you take the power away from the other person...that power to disappoint.

This is why compatibility (more so than attraction, or a few good times/memories) is SO key. When you want the same things, enjoy many of the same things, when you think the same things about love, jealousy, communication...when you have at least SOME common paradigms...then disappointment is less frequent, and less severe. This is because you both have the same expectations, and now it's just a matter of rightly exercised reciprocity (which has it's own pitfalls).  

The big question though--the one that is asked in friendships, in romantic relationships, in business-partnerships-gone-terribly-wrong--is the doozie: "Well...what did you expect?"

"..."


This is worth some investigation.
  

Grave Clothes: Faith Part Trois

Let's start with the scripture: John 20:1-9 (Please Read)

¹Early on the first day of the week, while it was still dark, Mary Magdalene went to the tomb and saw that the stone had been removed from the entrance. ²So she came running to Simon Peter and the other disciple, the one Jesus loved, and said, "They have taken the Lord out of the tomb, and we don't know where they have put him!" ³So Peter and the other disciple started for the tomb. ⁴Both were running, but the other disciple outran Peter and reached the tomb first. ⁵He bent over and looked in at the strips of linen lying there but did not go in. ⁶Then Simon Peter, who was behind him, arrived and went into the tomb. He saw the strips of linen lying there, ⁷as well as the burial cloth that had been around Jesus' head. The cloth was folded up by itself, separate from the linen. ⁸Finally the other disciple, who had reached the tomb first, also went inside. He saw and believed. ⁹(They still did not understand from Scripture that Jesus had to rise from the dead.)

Faith Part Three

OK! It's finally here: Faith Part Three! (clapping, cheering, people passing out from the sheer excitement)

I'm taking serious license with this post. The seed of this blog post is not an original thought, but I've tended to it with my own insight (and that of the Holy Spirit) so as to grow it into something that is mine. So...bear with me (this might be bad). The focus from the above passage is on verses 6 and 7 (highlighted in blue above).

So, the question I'm asking is: Why did Jesus leave behind his grave clothes?

The grave clothes are a silent testimony saying quite simply: "I have overcome." Christ conquered the grave, and stepped away from it completely. Jesus was resurrected; so why would a living man wear the clothes of a dead man. Death was His past, and he left it neatly (folded up and everything) behind Him.

Are you Wearing Grave Clothes?

This is a question you need to ask yourself. There are two situations in which we acquire grave clothes:

1. For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body of sin might be done away with... (Romans 6:6) - In this way, grave clothes are the person we used to be, and the things we used to do when we were dead spiritually.
2. Two months ago I was sick, now I am healed. Fear of disease = grave clothes. Last year "Sally" was in a bad relationship, she broke away. Fear of intimacy/distrust of men = grave clothes. Grave clothes = any remnant or piece of something conquered that signifies or identifies you with the thing conquered.

I'm dealing more with situation 2. Christ beat death; He overcame the grave, and when He left the sepulcher, He left everything having to do with it behind. We have to be the same way! When you have been delivered; or when you have overcome something, the very FIRST thing you should do is take off your grave clothes. In fact, I bet if we were listening...we'd hear God tell us to remove our grave clothes. Why do I say that? Because He's done it before:

⁴³...Jesus called in a loud voice, "Lazarus, come out!" ⁴⁴The dead man came out, his hands and feet wrapped with strips of linen, and a cloth around his face. Jesus said to them, "Take off the grave clothes and let him go." (John 11:43,44)

First, take OFF the clothes! Second, "Let him go." Be free!

So, it begs the question: If we are alive (those who are "new creatures" walking in the newness of life), why are we still wearing our old grave clothes?! That's on the overall spiritual tip (i.e. Situation 1). Situation 2: when issues, situations, failures, etc. that we have overcome and been delivered from (by the grace of God) still crop up in our life, still pop up in our thought-processes, and paralyze us with fear. We are still wrapped up in the grave clothes of the past and it keeps us from truly living.

For me, the grave clothes are the car accident I had when I was 8, and the brain aneurysm I beat 2 months ago. Accident = overcome. Aneurysm = delivered from. Grave clothes? Still on. Why? Well, it's because I never quite stopped being afraid, and never stopped worrying. And when you're afraid, it's because you have set aside your faith. And in that situation, you default to what you think is sure: math. We already had a blog about God and Math (check it out if you never read it). Think about it: mathematical forecasts are based on historical data. I've been looking at historical life data, and forecasting out the remainder of my life. But instead of seeing deliverance (which is also a part of my history), since my faith is set aside...I see more problems. But like I've said before: 1+1 doesn't always equal 2. My situation tomorrow is not predicted by yesterday's failures, illnesses, or whatever.

So what can I do? I've got the grave clothes on. How do I get them off? You guessed it! Faith. Know this, faith is fear's arch nemesis. But faith can only help us if we use it. Up above, I said that faith was set aside. The scripture refers to faith as our shield. It can only protect you, if you're holding it up. Fear is of the devil. Therefore, it is only fitting that fear, which is powerless against faith, has to trick you into letting down your defenses. The devil is full of tricks. Don't be tricked.

I leave you with these two hot verses:

"There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love." I John 4:18 (KJV---I like this one)

Perfect Love is this: that Christ died for us. Love is the fruit of the Holy Spirit, and fruit has a period of time before it is ripe. But I will cast my cares upon the Lord, focus on His perfect love, and watch fear abate as I am perfected in love. Knowing this:

"Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."--(Philippians 3:12,13,14)

FIN

Rest of 2010 Movie Review: I'M SO EXCITED!!!

Disclaimer: This post has a LOT of links, so remember: right click, open in new tab or window

As many of you know, I am the HUGEST movie buff. Last year, I watched every Oscar-nominated film prior to the airing of the awards show. And that was the year there were 10 nominees. I thought An Education should have won the top prize, but I'm not bitter.

So this Fall movie season is shaping up to be something awesome, and so I wanted to share my top 5 favorite fall trailers with you all, and hopefully...those of you who are in my neck of the woods will accompany me to a few shows:

Never Let Me Go (click link for trailer) - I'm very excited about this for three reasons:

1. Carey Mulligan - This is who I believe was robbed for An Education. She deserved her Oscar! Maybe this is her second chance. Two years in a row...let's see her nominated. Plus...you know how I feel about short, snazzy haircuts!


2. Keira Knightley - Have we seen this chick since Atonement? I've loved her in movies for years, and am excited to see her take another crack at the big award.


3. Sally Hawkins - OMG! I love her! I love her! I love seeing Sally's career take off. She's moving from bit roles, to leading roles (Happy-Go-Lucky) , to important roles. She was also in An Education, and she's going to rock out this movie as Miss Lucy.

Not to mention, this is from the author of The Remains of the Day, which was adapted into a beautiful film that is one of my all-time favorites. I'm thinking movie night with the roomies... And on top of that, what are "donations"?! Smells like sci-fi, and I can't wait!

The Tillman Story

This true-life tale of the death of NFL star Pat Tillman looks REALLY thought provocative, and eye-opening. I love movies like that. I'm not big on documentaries, but I'll see them if I think it's going to really get inside my head. This documentary has that potential. This won't play in small towns like Toledo, OH or Valparaiso, IN so people in D.C. and Chicago should thank their lucky stars that they'll have the opportunity to support this film in theaters. The trailer alone sparks heated debate, but I'll save my opinion until I've seen the film in its entirety.

Conviction
In a word: Hilary.

Is the Swankster going for THREE?! First off, Hilary Swank is one of my favorite actresses. She's silver screen magic in my opinion (umm...ahem...The Core, 11:14, P.S. I Love You, The Reaping, and countless other trash notwithstanding). All my love for her comes from The Next Karate Kid, Boys Don't Cry, and Million Dollar Baby. The latter two messed me up! I've never cried SO HARD; I went to bed disturbed and with my thoughts all scattered. And those two movies, of course, were how she earned the TWO Best Actress Academy awards that she possesses. Two best actress wins at her age is phenomenal. She's phenomenal, and...she's going for three.

Due Date

Hey, I like comedies too!! Though this will not be in the Oscar race...not even on the sidelines of the race, it looks worthy of my $11. I mean, who doesn't love RDJ, and Zach Galifianakis has YET to let me down. Has he let you down? I mean, he's like a comic genius.

Black Swan

This trailer is NUTS! First of all, who has seen a bad Natalie Portman flick? Come on...who?! She picks and chooses wisely. She's not all over the box office, we see her once, twice, three times a year TOPS (and some years we don't see her at all), and every time it is a superb performance. I love psycho thrillers. I love psycho-sexual thrillers. And this looks like one of those two...WAIT! I saw a bad Natalie film, I'm not sure it's bad...but it bothered me. Maybe it was the subject matter (the Spanish Inquisition): Goya's Ghosts. Enough said.

Well, that's five, but I want to see Blue Valentine. Currently, there's not a good quality trailer available, and so I'm not even sure I want to see it, but it stars Ryan Gosling and Michelle Williams. Ryan Gosling...I heart you! I mean, he's super hot, and a very romantic actor. Michelle Williams...have we seen her since Heath Ledger's demise? A little, but not a lot. It's nice to see her out working again!

Let's not play games, clearly I'm excited about Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1, but we don't have to talk about that at length...do we? DO WE?!!

I Was Weak with Laughter

It's not very often I find internet content that makes me cry with laughter. Not very often at all. However, tonight, I was blessed by one of my friends with a Facebook message urging me to read a series of e-mails between the owner of a lost cat and the graphic designer she wants to create a lost poster.


I laughed...a lot! So much so that my roommate asked me if I was alright. And I'm not! My stomach hurts now. But it was worth it. I hope you love it as much as me.

ALERT: This is crazy sarcasm. Sarcasm so heavy a person could be crushed beneath the weight of it. However, it's so deliciously witty that death by crushing may not be so bad. Click here to read the article.

Now wasn't that funny?

I love it because in the Facebook message my friend said "I thought of you when I read this, this is just our type of humor..." And it totally is, this is the kind of thing that used to make our DAY in college. Sadly, I don't get the opportunity to lay the sarcasm on this thick...ever! It's a gift being this sarcastic. I applaud this guy. Kudos!